In Remembrance
by A'isha Ishtar
Summary: "I'll never forget you." The way he looked at her was so... human. How could she have forgotten? How could she have forgotten that she had once been on the right side... on his side? And why wasn't she now? Optimus/OC MAY become a love triangle with Megs
1. Prologue

**OK! I have, uh, way too many Transformers stories that I've not finished and more on the way. But they WILL get finished. Get me? Loves me the Transformers.**

**So, for this story, I was somewhat inspired by another story called "Twisted" by the genius who is SimpleRhapsody. If you've never read it, I highly recommend it... and I'm hard to please in Transformers fic, for some reason. (Plan on leaving a review as soon as I finish all the current chapters.) I hope that if s/he ever reads this - not that s/he will because I am a lowly fleshling - that they are flattered that I drew inspiration. I was hitting a wall with my "United We Stand" story, and this is really really helping to write this one. There are several differences... mainly, "Twisted" goes with the revenge-turning-into-love theme and mine sort of... well... you'll figure it out. D**

**The real plot begins... next chapter! But this gives you quite a bit of background that helps the story make a little more sense once it actually begins.**

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><p><em>They were alone, he hadn't brought anyone else. There was just her, and him, driving slowly through the city. Surely he wouldn't leave her alone HERE? He wasn't that kind of person... h-he wasn't...<em>

_Alone. She couldn't stand the thought of that word. Alone meant without the others, her friends - no, her family. They were her family, and they had been for almost three years. Life without them was unthinkable. Without him._

_Oh God. She never wanted to be without him. Cut out everyone else, but not him. Leaving everyone else wounded her heart. Leaving him broke it in two. No, no... more than two._

_Way more than two._

_She sat in the driver's seat, not touching the steering wheel, and they were going slowly. She looked blankly out the window, running her fingers gently over the lock. "There's no trunk for me to hide in and sneak back with you," she mumbled. She'd meant for it to be funny, but when you're not amused it doesn't exactly have that effect on anyone else either._

_She heard him sigh. "You know, Blair, I get the distinct feeling that you believe this is easy for **me**. And it isn't. How long have we known you? Nobody wants you to leave."_

"_Then why are you making me leave, Optimus?" She dropped her hand and felt the tears coming again. She thought she'd gotten rid of them all when he first told her, but apparently there were still some left. "Don't you want me to stay? If you decided to let me stay, everyone would let me stay. They'd be relieved... happy, even!"_

"_You think I want to let you go? To just... just leave you here without anyone to protect you? To let you get possibly manipulated by human enemies or even Decepticons?"_

"_They won't, you know," she muttered. "They wouldn't dare, they know who I am. They may not know my name but they know who I am."_

"_They know your face. They know that you are with us, and they have found our base. That is enough information for them to kill you." He stopped, right near a sidewalk that led to a small store. "This is where I will leave you. You'll need something to eat... don't waste that money Lennox gave you. Then start looking for somewhere to work so you can buy your own residence and take care of yourself."_

_The doors snapped open, lock popped, but Blair didn't move. "I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you."_

"_Nor I, you. But this is for your own safety. If you don't leave you'll be killed."_

"_I don't care. I would be fine as long as I was killed protecting you and the others."_

"_Blair." His voice was harsh now, but with an unmistakable edge of grief and sorrow. "This is not your war. It's ours. Too many humans have already died. I will not let you be another."_

"_Optimus..." She let her head fall against the steering wheel, taking in a deep, shuddery breath. "I... I'm going to miss you so much. Please don't make me do this. I don't want to do this."_

"_It is difficult for me as well. If I could take you back and not constantly worry about the Decepticons getting you, I would do it in a sparkbeat. You know that. But sometimes... we must do the things we don't want to because someone who cares about us knows that it is the best thing. I... our happiness means nothing, Blair - nothing if you are not safe. How can I continue to care for you... if you are not here anymore?"_

_Her fingers gripped the handle, and she swallowed thickly. She couldn't imagine life without him... she loved him, even if she'd never admit it in his presence. And he was fond of her too, she could tell. He got so gentle around her, more than he was normally, and his touch was soft, as if he thought there was any way he could hurt her. But he couldn't. She knew... he never would, never could, there was no way he could ever hurt her. She trusted him._

"_Are you... Are you going to come back for me, Optimus?"_

_He was quiet. Then, "I don't know."_

"_What do you mean, you don't know? You have no idea if you'll ever see me again?" A hard sphere in her throat made it almost impossible to breathe. The possibility of never seeing him again was just... just unthinkable. He was sentencing her to a life worse than death. Did he even know what he was doing to her heart right now?_

"_I will only come for you when I know the Decepticons have left this planet. When there is no more danger of your injury at their hands." She could just imagine his bright, luminescent, **electric** blue eyes looking so sad, so... forlorn. That silver face of his bowing in shame at what he was doing. Wishing it didn't have to be this way but knowing he had chosen the least of all evils. "When we can be together without fear."_

"_There's no fear in our relationship, Optimus." She got up and stroked the seat with a light, easy finger. "I'm not afraid of you. You're not afraid of me. The only one I'm afraid of is old Drill Sergeant, but I know he has his illogical reasons... overprotectiveness, for example. Besides, everyone's afraid of him on some level or another."_

"_Not fear of each other. That should never happen." He sighed again, and it sounded so much heavier this time. Like he was just tired of the way her world - __their world, now - worked. "Fear... you and I. Living in constant fear of the __Decepticons."_

"_But we're still kicking," she reminded him gently. "We're still living."_

"_No. No... we are not living." She imagined him shaking his head, giving her that all-knowing Cybertronian look like only he and the others could. "There is more to living than having a pulse, than having wounds that are less than life-threatening. We are not living. We are simply alive."_

_She echoed his sigh. He had a certain point... as he always did, damn him. There was a difference between what they were doing and living. Living... living was smiling, having fun with friends and with your - snicker - "sparkmate". Living was jumping around, dancing, running, and not caring how tired you were after all that. They were going day to day, just trying not to get killed, not knowing when the enemy was going to try another assault and possibly losing each other._

_He was right. What they were doing was not living._

_But, he of all people... he should know. If they never saw each other again, they **still** wouldn't be living._

"_You must get out now. If they don't know where you are, you will be safe." He wasn't himself, not the way she was used to seeing him. But warmth and affection and concern and a million other emotions she couldn't identify were pouring around her right now. He wasn't any happier about this than she was. "I will take your safety over..." She heard him swallow. Hard. "But we cannot think about that, can we? We must stay positive."_

"_Yeah." She blew out a breath and rubbed the seat again. "And **you**... you don't go getting yourself killed, okay?"_

"_I will do my best."_

"'_Cause if you die, I'll find a way to bring you back and kill you again for dying on me."_

"_Of course. I would expect nothing less from you."_

_She sucked in a breath, and pressed her lips against the horn button, in the middle of the steering wheel, where his insignia lie. She kissed that wonderfully, impeccably good part of him, and slowly pulled away. It didn't feel right to leave their relationship at this, caught between a rock and a hard place - between being friends and being sparkmates or soulmates or whatever. Where did they stand with each other, anyway? Were they just friends? Were they lovers?_

_For some reason the line between friendship and love for them had grown foggy, smudged, blurry and not clear at all. They were somewhere in the middle of each ultimatum, with neither having any idea of which end to go toward._

_She shouldn't leave when they hadn't even figured it out yet..._

"_Good-bye, Optimus," she whispered, opening the door. "Even if you never come back for me, I... I'll never forget you. I promise."_

"_I will never let your memory slip from my processors either."_

_She stepped down, out of the truck, and watched as he closed the door. He didn't drive off right away. He never did... he prolonged these things. It was so painfully clear that he didn't want to leave her there, that he wanted to tell her to get back inside, that this was all a joke, and drive her back to base where they could explore each other's heart and spark. But he couldn't do that, as long as he wanted her to stay alive._

"_Be safe, my Blair... just remember that you are half my spark. Let that be your motivation to live. Good..." His voice paused slightly. He didn't want to say it. Oh God, he really didn't want to say it. "... Good-bye."_

_He drove slowly down the road, and she knew his rearview mirrors were drinking in these last gazes of her. She was staring too, at him, at his back end and even more, at the mirrors on the sides. Where normally the driver, who was now Optimus's holoform that she had barely ever caught glimpses of, would look to see the cars directly behind him._

_She caught a flash of the holoform's face in the side mirror, and then a flash of her face. Then she started to just cry, as soon as he'd rounded the corner._

_More flashes - her memories of things they'd said to each other._

**_"Blair... I will never let anyone lay a finger on you."_**

**_"Optimus... do... you trust me, don't you? It crushes me every time I think you might not..."_**

**_"I'm always gonna be here, you know? I'll always be here to do something stupid and make you laugh."_**

**_"I will never leave you." That touch. That soft, worrisome touch. "If you are certain of nothing else, be certain of that."_**

_Tears blurred her vision as she stepped up on the sidewalk - or tried to. The top of her shoe made it onto the curb, but the heel caught on the grate below it. She tried to get herself free but it took less than five seconds for her to lose her balance and go tumbling to the ground._

_She thought she heard a sickening crack before all the light vanished from her world._

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><p>"<em>Human."<em>

_She kept her eyes shut. Who... Who was that? Where was she? What was her name?_

"_I know you are conscious. Awake, now."_

_The voice was soft, but with a very dangerous, very growling edge to it. Did she know this person? She wasn't sure. She wasn't sure about a lot of things._

_Slowly, she forced her eyes to open. It took a few tries, and her vision was fuzzy at first. But it cleared up, and she looked to see the owner of that voice. It was most obviously a man, and-_

_W-Was that a giant robot leaning over her?_

_She mumbled, somehow not even quite believing it. "I must be hallucinating," she breathed._

"_Fleshling," the robot hissed, and this was the voice she had heard. Oh and what a voice. So full of power, so... so sultry. Did... Did she know him?_

"_Where am I?" she coughed, trying to sit up._

"_Stop moving." He sounded annoyed with her. "You're going to kill yourself."_

"_Who are you?"_

"_You not not **my **name? **My name**?" he practically roared._

_She trembled. "I... I'm sorry..."_

"_Stop, stop!" Suddenly there was a quick laser over her. She snapped her head over to see a much smaller but similar robot, this one with lenses over its optics that looked like thick glasses. "She shock! Ve must keep ze girl calm, calm, calm! Und now vith you yell she is not calm, calm, calm! Zen she die! Zen if she die she be no use, Lord Megatron! Keep calm, keep ze girl calm!"_

_He scoffed. "And how am I supposed to do that?"_

_The little robot nudged the other's arm with several of his. "Talk to her! Talk to ze girl! Make ze conversations vith her!"_

_The larger robot made a face that was probably akin to disgust, and huffed out a breath. "So..." Looking uncomfortable with this concept, he waved off the smaller bot and laid his optics back on her. "What do others address you as, fleshling?"_

_She took a breath, and looked at him, into his glowing red eyes. "You... You mean **you** don't know who I am?"_

_He snarled. "I asked you a question! Do you honestly think I would have asked you if I knew the answer? Talk. What is your name?"_

_She glanced down, and swallowed. She tried to probe through her mind, looking for any name that may fit her. But she couldn't quite remember. She wasn't a Jessica, or an Ashley, or a Briana. "I..." Tears formed in her eyes and she managed to choke out, "I don't know. I don't know."_

"_Well try to find out." This came from one of the other robots she'd noticed standing against the other wall. "You don't need to be waking us every night with that incessant screaming." He shook his head. "I think you're louder than my siren. Blast our ear drums out, why don't you already."_

"_And your siren blares louder than anything I've ever encountered, Barricade," the other chuckled darkly._

"_Perhaps that's what we ought to call her then," the darker one, Barricade, suggested. "Eh, Starscream?"_

"_What?" Starscream asked. "Siren?"_

"_No, I mean 'blare'. We could call her Blare. I do believe it's a fleshling name as well __as a word."_

"_Fleshlings are so odd in their ways," Starscream commented. "What do you think, Lord Megatron? Little Blare? It has a certain shine to it, don't you think?"_

"_Blare," the robot leaning over her, obviously Megatron, mulled. "The name has merit." He looked down at her. "And what think you, fleshling? Blare?"_

_It probably made no difference what she thought, he'd call her whatever he wanted. After all, nobody knew her real name, even her. But for some reason, that name sounded... better. Normal. Like people had been calling her Blare her whole life because she'd been loud her whole life._

_She nodded. "I... I like it."_

"_Very good." His face contorted slightly, and she couldn't match that to an emotion. "Rest now, fleshling... soon you shall be my pet. My Blare."_

_**My Blare...**_

_Why did that sound so familiar?_

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><p><strong>Oh mah God! So Megatron found her.<strong>

**Um, wait. I knew that. You just read all that, YOU know that now.**

**But I bet you don't know what's going to happen...~ Maybe some of you have guesses. Maybe some of you have hunches.**

**BUT YOU WON'T KNOW TILL I POST THE NEXT CHAPTER.**

**So beg, fleshlings. Beg like your very lives depend on it.**

**Me: *whack* MEGATRON. OFF THE WORLD WIDE WEB. YOU ALWAYS CAUSE HAVOC. *smack* Yeah, back into the garage, you miserable little... *mutter***

**See, I keep him on a leash, because he knows I'll write good things about him if he's a good boy. Good things, as in... "MEGATRON IS YOUR LEADER! BOW DOWN, YOU FREAKS!"**

**Bumblebee: *through the radio* _Superfreak, superfreak, she's superfreaky..._**

**Me: BEE! What did I say about that song? It reminds me of Alice! You get in the garage too!**

***mumble* Alien robots takin' over my grandpa's lawn-mowin' parkin' space...**

**Well. Hopefully you'll see it in your hearts to give me a review. And here's a little cheat sheet: the longer your review is, the sooner I get writing and update. Why? Because if you analyze it or say your favorite parts, I get ideas (scary, I know) and I can make sure I play up those parts y'all like.**

**So, real story begins next chapter, this just gave some much needed background, blah blah...**

**Thanks for reading! ^^**


	2. Chapter 1

**Wahoo! Thanks for the reviews last chapter guys, I was just TICKLED to get them.**

**I must be crazy updating this fast...**

**Now the REAL story begins. Sorry about the beginning fluff-ish-ness with Megs and Blare/Blair. I figure when he has something to tell her, he leads into it by manipulating her human emotions and doing something sappy. *shrug***

**But then it gets good! Next chapter might be better, I think. Why? NOT TELLING! SECRET!**

**Hope you guys enjoy!**

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><p>She sat quietly by the sidelines, hands folded in her lap like a good pet, as Megatron always told her she was. Not speaking, just watching.<p>

She wished she could say something, though. Starscream and Barricade were virtually tearing each other apart, and she didn't like it. They were both her friends, her family, and she hated rubbing off the dirt and scratches from their armor after they'd had spars. At the same time though, it made her feel closer to them. After all, few humans got as close to these Cybertronians as she did; especially _these_ ones. They were so different, so careful about who they trusted.

She was glad they trusted her.

"Master," she said lowly. She kept her eyes down, hardly ever daring to look into his. "How long has it been?"

He grunted. "Since what, my little butterfly?"

"Since... you found me."

"Hmm. Not long. Three Earth years, if my math's correct."

"It always is, Master."

"That never works, you know."

"Yeah, I know." She smiled slightly, reaching up to fiddle with the drawstring on her shirt. "I always have to try."

"I know you do. You humans are so contradicting that way. Starscream, Barricade!" he suddenly barked. "I'm taking my leave for a few minutes! Try not to kill each other if I'm not watching!" Then, out of nowhere, his clawed hand was in front of her face. "Come with me."

She nodded, and eagerly climbed up onto his palm as she always did. She sat with her legs crossed Indian-style, and held onto one of his fingers. He'd always told her to, he didn't want her falling off. Humans were fragile, he said. She didn't remember much, but at least she remembered that she was human.

"Close... Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Just close them. I'm your master, you don't need a reason," he muttered. "I'll tell you good and well when you can open again."

"Okay." She shut her eyes throwing her free arm across them. "Where are we going, Master?"

"You don't need to know."

"Uh-huh." She kept her eyes closed and her arm around Megatron's finger. Oh. She could have fallen asleep here again, as she had several times before. She'd also fallen asleep inside Barricade's alternate mode a few times. (After that last one, though, he refused to carry her again. And Starscream she usually got sick inside of. Stupid military-style planes. And just planes in general.)

After a moment of walking, Megatron moved his hand, causing her to jump. She felt wind on her face, and then the warm radiation of some light. "You may open your eyes."

She did as he told her, and realized they were outside. That was why she'd felt the wind, and the warmth on her cheeks was the sun. "Why are we out here? Not that I mind, it's been a while since I've been outside."

"Because, I..." He growled, then reached up onto the high roof, into a small box-like area that was in the design. "Here." He dangled a chain in front of her, and on the end of it was a small pendant. It looked like something you'd see in a science book - a flat sphere, with small rods jutting out from all around the edge, each one with a tiny ball at the end. "Just put it on."

She carefully took it, and just looked at it for a minute. "What is it?" She traced a finger over the sphere, feeling the small grooves on it. She slipped it on, the small wire matting a part of her hair down.

"It serves two purposes." He lifted her hair up with one finger, freeing it. "It will be your collar, my Blare. It is emblazoned with my insignia on the other side, so that if ever you are lost from me, it will be known where you are to be returned." He tilted her chin up with that same finger. "But, I do not plan to lose you."

She smiled. She did love him so, he was so good to her; he didn't want to lose her. "Oh, thank you. What's its other purpose?"

He blew out a breath, and as usual it sounded a bit... growling. It always did when he spoke, but she'd gotten used to it. She knew he never meant much harm with his words. "You... have been with me a while, my loud little butterfly. And I have always taken care of you, have I not?"

"Of course you have. You're my family." She rubbed her cheek against the warm, familiar metal of his finger. "You've given me everything I need."

"And yet, your memory has still not returned to you." A gentle stroke of his finger over her hair, down her shoulder. "There is guilt in it for me, my fragile little butterfly... that I have not managed to help you remember anything."

"That's not your fault, Master," she insisted, patting his finger. "I just haven't run into anything that jogs my memory yet."

"Yes, but it's been three years." He sighed. "I would have thought _something_ might come back to you." He stared down at her, his red eyes running over her skin and tinting her a much darker shade of pink. "You still don't even know your human age, do you?"

"I-I must be at least twenty, by now," she tried. "I may have already been twenty when you found me! And it doesn't matter, anyway, you know. I can live without my memory if it means staying with you, because you've taken good care of me."

"I suppose it is a gift, then... for these years you've spent without knowing your human birth date. You fleshlings, you celebrate that, don't you? Another year closer to death." He snorted lightly, shaking his head. "Foolish, but important to you for some reason. Happy birthday then, congratulations for surviving three years with the Decepticons."

She grinned. "You always know, Master, you always know just how to say something to make me smile." She hugged his claw tightly. "Thank you. I really do love it. But what, um..." She held it up. "What's the pendant? Is it just a random design you knew I'd like?"

"It is the symbol for all of Cybertron." At this, he sounded slightly sad. He always did when he talked about Cybertron. He'd never told her why, aside from the fact that it was almost impossible for him to return there. "If others of the race find you and see the insignia, they will know where you belong and they will not keep you. Climb up here, my butterfly, hold on."

She wrapped herself around his finger, and he held it up, as a human might do if a real butterfly were perched on their finger. Gentle, but free, knowing it might fly away at any second but trusting that it will stay with you. Eventually she regained her balance, once he stopped moving, and crouched as she always did, knees bent and arms outstretched to keep her bearing so she wouldn't fall.

"What do you see out there, pet?" he asked, directing her attention past their fort.

"I see the sun. The sky." She brought her hands down, pressing on his finger and lying down on her stomach. Her legs dangled over each side, and she curled her arms around; not out of fear that she'd fall, but just to be closer to him. She was suddenly very tired and wondered why he was asking her this. He'd never bothered with these silly sentiments before. "Trees. Grass. Dirt." She sounded bored, and to be truthful she _was_ bored. Whenever she came outside, this was what she looked at. She'd been staring at these things for almost three years whenever she wanted some air. "A lot of nothing, really."

"We will be traveling that way, via the streets. I sensed a new Decepticon coming through Earth's atmosphere, and they've landed approximately 36 miles from here. We must pick up our comrade, and then find a new base."

"Oh. Do you know who it is?"

"No, not yet. But it's a femme, which should be a pleasant surprise."

"Have you told Starscream and Barricade? They didn't seem very prepared to travel. They're too busy busting each other's teeth out."

"I'll have to knock their heads together again - they can't remember anything." He looked down at her, and his eyes were hard. "But I can trust you not to forget, can't I, little butterfly?"

"Of course! I'd never let you down, Master." She clung to his finger, pressing her forehead against the metal. "You're always so warm. Like a blanket."

He scoffed, and all at once the moment had been gone. Moments like this, where he showed a tender side towards her and only her, were rare... fleeting. Because they were fleeting, they were precious. They were always gone too soon, with no clear prediction of when there'd be another.

"Pesky human," he mumbled, forcing her back into his palm. "You know how easily I could crush you, don't you?"

"Yes. But I also know you never would." She played with the necklace, crossing her legs again.

_Criss-cross applesauce, you little insect,_ Starscream used to taunt her, playing with her and thumping her on the back multiple times. He said if she couldn't keep them crossed, Megatron would be displeased with her and think she was indecent, and then he'd have no use for her. She quickly learned the proper way to sit.

"Master..." she began as he walked back inside. "Where in the universe is Cybertron? Is it far from here? Could you see it in the sky, at night, when it's really dark?"

A huff. As if he were annoyed with her. He got annoyed easily, especially by humans and _especially_ those who asked too many questions. "It's millions of lightyears away from this planet, butterfly. You wouldn't be able to see it even if you had a pathetic human telescope."

"Which direction is it?"

"It doesn't matter." He placed her down where they'd been watching Starscream and Barricade spar, and sat next to her. "You're not going to see it. Why do you even want to try if you're not going to see it?"

She shrugged, playing with the necklace again. This little trinket was her favorite thing in the world, it would stay so, because it was a present from her master, a sign that he actually, truly cared about her. "I don't know. I'm human, remember? We're not always logical."

"Try to make a bit more sense, yes, my little Blare?"

"Of course, Master. I'm very sorry."

A claw through her blonde hair, as he always did when pleased with her. "That's alright. After all, you _are_ only human."

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><p>They left when it was dark. It was easier not to get spotted that way, to blend in and look normal, because they were all dark-colored. Megatron had advised Blare when she went clothes shopping, to get all black clothing: black tank tops, black t-shirts and sweaters, dark-washed jeans rather than the lighter denim, and onyx boots.<p>

Cleaning them after the spar hadn't been so bad. She always liked cleaning off Barricade's lights, when he was in his alternate mode. It was what she'd been named for, because those lights, that siren, they thought her voice matched that volume. It was always a little special for her to be so close to the thing that had named her.

She had to walk, and she had to walk _fast_. She could barely keep up with them all. She had somewhat wanted to ride with Megatron, but he'd said the way he drove, she'd end up with a bunch of bruises. And Barricade wouldn't let her ride with him anymore, on account of the few times she'd fallen asleep inside him and left an imprint on the seats. (He didn't like her falling asleep in him anyway, even if there hadn't been a human-shaped dent in the backseat.) And Starscream... well... he'd offered, at least, but she had to remind him about her airsickness, lest he wanted her to be cleaning out vomit from his interior. (She'd told him that first time was an accident, she didn't think she'd ever ridden in a plane before, but he still was unwilling to let her ride with him.)

It was convenient for them to travel under cover of night, patrolling the streets (or in Starscream's case, the air) mostly hidden. And for her, all she had to do was jog alongside them, on the sidewalks. The only thing she had to do was make sure she kept up. They knew she couldn't go so fast, so none of them were really concerned if she was a few feet behind, because they knew she was still following them. She was just a human; humans were slow.

She was trying to be a bit slower tonight, more cautious. It was so _dark_... even with the streetlights on. They weren't everywhere, and sometimes things bled into each other, creating this blurred black hole she had to struggle to get past. She didn't dare call out to any of the others; people might think she was crazy, talking to cars and chasing them down the street!

There weren't many other people though. Most of them - not that there were a lot - were coming out of this little store on the side of the street. She had been running, but when she saw the store she slowed down a little. It seemed like she'd seen it before somewhere. Had she ever been in this part of town? No, she couldn't have... rarely did she come here, and even then Barricade just drove her to the secondhand clothing shop on the other block - _maybe_ sometimes to a fast food place, if they'd been out a while. He'd never taken her here, to this store. This store looked far more wholesome than anywhere he'd ever take her.

She felt someone bump her, and she almost lost her balance. She managed to catch herself shortly before she hit the ground, clinging to one of the poles that held up the store's awning. "S-Sorry about that," she muttered before the other person could even say anything.

The other person turned out to just be a little kid, who blinked up at her with curious wide eyes. But then the kid's mother came out of the store and grabbed his hand. "How many times have I told you," she scolded, "to not run out of the store without me?" She looked up at Blare. "Sorry," she said quickly, before scurrying off with her son.

Blare stared after them a moment, trying to remember her own family... the ones she had been with before Megatron had found her. She tried to recall any flash of their faces, any bit of their voices. All she got were colors. Glowing blue. The most obnoxious, lovable yellow with just a hint of black. Cherry red and lime green, the exact shades of popsicles, and those two colors just _belonged_ together. Family wasn't color, was it? Then why was she only getting color when she tried to remember who her family was?

Her head hurt, and she slapped a hand up to stop the pain. "O-Ow..."

She looked up at the store. The neon sign was faded, but her mind put a different kind of brightness to it, like she'd seen it a very long time ago. Like she was remembering something she didn't... quite... remember. She _had_ seen it before, but where? Had it been that first month with them, when she'd driven through town with Barricade, when they'd rode around for hours deciding on clothes and getting lunch and just annoying each other?

She couldn't remember. She couldn't remember anything about this store, or about her family, or about anything else.

"I'm really a mess," she sighed, leaning against the building. She stayed there for a minute, eyes closed, relaxing and taking a break, then her eyes snapped wide open, in reaction to her fear.

Where were Megatron and Starscream and Barricade?

"Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God," she gasped as she ran, not even sure which direction they'd gone in. Her chest burned with the cold air she was gulping in, but she couldn't stop. She'd looked up into the sky, but if Starscream was there, he was a dot on the invisible horizon. Her boots pounded against the sidewalk as she ran, not concerned with catching her breath but concerned with catching up.

She didn't know how long she'd run, or how fast she'd been running. But she knew she couldn't catch up to them. They were way too fast, and they probably hadn't even noticed she was gone. They probably just thought she was still running ten feet behind them, trying to keep up with their superior Cybertronian speed.

She took one more gasp of air, and for some reason this one really stung her chest, a sharp pain in her lungs. She coughed, then staggered toward a nearby building, trying to keep from falling. But it didn't work.

She saw a gray curtain drape across her vision, and she tried to shake her head to clear it away. It worked, but the foggy veil had been replaced now, by stabbing black spots dancing on her eyes. Blinking didn't help. The black dots slowly formed into a screen that she could barely see through.

After a ten-second struggle she managed to sit down on the pavement, but she already felt herself slipping away. Against her will, she collapsed over herself and fell into darkness, subconsciously shielding her head from further attack with her arm.

* * *

><p><strong>BUM BUM BUMMMMMM.<strong>

**OK, let me explain the "butterfly" thing. I needed something for him to call her other than "my Blare". And since he usually refers to most humans as insects, I thought a butterfly would suit her because he thinks of her as an insect too - just a prettier one, and more fragile. So yeah.**

**Next chapter will hopefully be a bit more exciting!**

**Oh yeah, and... CLIFFHANGER! HAHAHA!**

**I feel so evil.**

**Megatron: So I HAVE been getting to you.**

**Me: *glare* *shove***

**Review, guys! I love hearing what you think... what I should change, what you like, suggestions as to a few plot ideas. Sometimes I incorporate them, sometimes I don't. Just depends.**

**Thanks for reading! ^^**


	3. Chapter 2

**OK, so I guess the real plot actually begins... NOW.**

**lol. I hope you guys enjoy this!**

* * *

><p>Lennox, sitting in the passenger's seat, rubbed at his eyes with his palm facing toward himself. "Ratchet, are you sure we still should be out?" he muttered. "It's late. We haven't patrolled this late in forever. Everyone's gonna be on my ass, asking what we were doing."<p>

A soft growl came from the speakers of the rescue Hummer. "I know it's late. Don't you think I'm tired as well? But I just feel like we... have to check once more. Once more around town, then we'll go back and get some sleep."

"Alright. You know what you're doin' better than me, I guess." He slumped back in the seat, closing his eyes.

Ratchet, meanwhile, was still on the lookout. His optics desperately wanted to just shut, so he could sleep, but he forced himself to stay awake. _One_ more check and they'd be done. As long as they didn't find anything unusual, it'd be alright to head back.

His "eyes" swept the streets, looking for anything out of the ordinary. It was a bit hard to see in this much darkness, but headlights helped substantially. So far he didn't see much, humans were closing up stores... wait. Wait. Was that a human, lying there on the sidewalk? Why would someone be out this late, and just _lying_ there?

"William," he spoke up, his voice crackling through the speakers. "Wake up. We've got a human femme on the side of the road, she looks unconscious. I think she may have been a victim of violence. I'm stopping, I need you to take a look."

"What, _your_ laser scan isn't working?" Lennox scoffed, then immediately woke up as Ratchet skidded to a stop. "Geez! I'm going, Ratchet, did you think I was just gonna sleep?"

"Perhaps I should accompany you in my holoform. I should be sure the girl isn't seriously injured."

"Do whatever you want." Lennox climbed out and shut the door, walking around the front of the van.

Ratchet's phasing human form followed, and they both got to the body at about the same time. Lennox knelt down, while Ratchet's bright blue eyes scanned over her with a laser.

Lennox moved her hair aside. "Yeah, she's out cold. I don't even think she can hear us right now." He then noticed the necklace, which looked vaguely like something he'd seen before - something one of the Autobots had shown him. He flipped it over, and his eyes widened at what he saw on the back. "Ratchet! She's either a Decepticon, or she's working with them!"

When he looked up, Ratchet seemed rather sad, a look rarely seen on his face. "I'm afraid I may know who this is," he commented, getting on one knee to inspect her. "Yes. You don't remember her?"

"Well... she looks a little familiar. Maybe someone I didn't see a lot?"

"I am sure that it is her." He slipped a hand under her neck, and after a moment drew it back. "Yes. Blair Carter, do you remember her now?"

"Oh... _oh_. She was that kooky girl who kept you guys from tracking filth all over the place."

"More than that." He shook his head. "I believe she and Optimus... well... never mind, that's not of import right now. What _is_ of import is that her memory has been lost to her, stripped right down from everything up until the point when she lost it."

"How long ago did Optimus tell her to leave? Three years?"

"Almost." He sighed, standing up and rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm afraid the date also seems to coincide with the day she lost her memory." He turned around, running a palm over his face in frustration. "Optimus is not going to be happy about this."

Lennox looked up. "Do you think she remembers us? I mean, you guys?"

"I sincerely doubt it. The loss is very extreme... and I felt a small injury, very small, that suggests she hit her head and that is what caused it." He started walking back towards his real form, the Hummer. "I don't believe she remembers anything but the last three years."

Lennox blew out a breath. "Damn... you think the twins are gonna be upset about this? They miss their little Psycho. I think everyone does. Hell, even _Ironhide_ said he wants her to come back. I can't believe _he_ misses her too."

Ratchet snorted, opening the back doors. "As I believe you humans say, _puh-lease_. He misses having her as a moving target because she was the only human who would agree to it. Perhaps the twins' alias for her is accurate."

"Yeah, from what I remember she sure _was_ crazy. Didn't she dance on top of Optimus's alt form at one point, while Bee was playing the radio?"

"And the song had to be 'Dumb Love', of all the _possible_ choices Bumblebee could have made," Ratchet grumbled. "I'm not quite sure Sideswipe ever stopped teasing her her singing... and for the way she danced on top of Optimus. Apparently it wasn't considered the most decent way of moving in the human mind."

"The twins had a freaking _field day_ with that."

"No, they just made it worse." Ratchet gestured to the back of the Hummer. "Get her in, please. I'll do a better scan when we get back, but if you meet her after you wake up... just treat her as if you've never met her. That's what Optimus will want to do, because he's stubborn."

"_Wow_," Lennox retorted sarcastically, lifting the woman and bringing her around to the back. "He certainly had me fooled."

* * *

><p>In some ways, it was so terribly, spark-wrenching <em>difficult<em> to see her again, especially like this. Broken and not even awake, lying there, and he was reminded of just how fragile she really was. But in other ways, some kind of psychological hose washed relief over his entire being. At least she was still alive; at least he knew he'd made the right decision by sending her away, the decision that would keep her alive.

"Optimus." His medical officer's voice was gentle, a rarity, but it was so obvious that was the way he had to treat the leader right now. "Staring at her when you should be sleeping isn't going to wake her up any faster. She'll come around at her own pace."

"Where... Where did you find her?" His voice was even quieter, and you wouldn't think it was possible for an Autobot, a mighty, massive Cybertronian, to sound so... small.

"She was on the sidewalk, near the grocery. She was like this."

"What's... What's that scar on her mouth? That wasn't there when I left her."

Indeed, there was a mark that stretched perhaps an inch and a half above the edge of her lip, through both lips, and another inch below. It looked almost like her lips were stitched together at that area where the scar ran through them, like if she spoke she wouldn't be able to move that part.

"Likely one of the Decepticons," Ratchet replied. "You know how careless they are with humans."

"I need to go give them a piece of my processor-"

"Optimus." The older bot laid his hand on Optimus's shoulder. "Not tonight. You'll be far too tired with the news I've got for you."

He sighed and put his palm to his face. "What could possibly put me in a worse mood than _this_?"

Ratchet shook his head, bringing up the medical scans he'd done earlier and displaying them to his leader. "She has severe amnesia, Optimus. I would be surprised if she remembered her own name - if she's not living under some kind of alias, I mean."

Optimus's eyes lingered on the scans for a few seconds more before looking back at his old friend, the other half of his spark. "She... has lost her memory. Is that what you're telling me, Ratchet?"

"Except for the past two years, ten months, and six days... Optimus. Stop staring at her, what would she think if her eyes suddenly snapped open and you were ogling her like that? Focus on me."

He tore his optics away from the lovely, broken form, and faced Ratchet.

"Not so hard, hmm? Now. Optimus, I think that if she remembers anything, it certainly won't be us."

"But she _has_ been living with the Decepticons. She knows who we are."

"She know what our _race_ is," Ratchet corrected. "But listen to me: She _does not know_ who _we_ are."

Optimus looked at her again, and then sat down on the berth, beside her legs. It was much too big a bed for such a small, delicate creature like her. "Ratchet... she is... more than just our friend."

"I know, Optimus. You two were in the middle of finding out the _glorious_ truth of whether or not you were sparkmates." For some reason, this was said with gruff sarcasm. But all trace of it vanished in an instant. "Optimus. If you wanted so badly to know whether you two were meant to be in love, why did you send her away? Was it too spark-breaking for you, hmm, falling in love?"

"I didn't want her to get hurt." His voice had changed, to that small, reflective, sorrowful tone. "Every time a human is hurt because of us, it feels as though there is a knife wedged in my spark. And eventually... the feeling fades... and I go on with life. But if... if anything ever happened to her, to my Blair..." He shook his head, before bowing it almost in shame. "That feeling would never go away."

"Everyone knows how much you care for her, and they all care for her too. They would all fight to the death if she was in any danger, even Ironhide. Nothing would ever happen to her."

"But I would always fear something would. I... I had to..."

"And look where she ended up, Optimus. In the hands of the very ones you tried to protect her from. Perhaps it would have been better if you had just let her stay, ordered Ironhide to guard her-"

"At least I _tried_ to protect her," Optimus interrupted. "At least I didn't just sit by and do nothing. It may have not worked out as I wanted it to, but _I tried_."

Ratchet let out a breath. "Alright. Alright, Optimus. You want this to be hard? I can assure you it's going to be hard. She does _not_ remember us. None of us, not even you."

"Perhaps now that she's back, she might start to remember."

"That's a big 'if', Optimus. She may not remember right away."

"But she may."

"I understand. I comprehend what you're trying to convey." Ratchet adjusted the IV line going into her arm. "But what if she can't remember, Optimus? What do you plan to do then?"

Optimus stood up, giving her one last glance full of affection, concern. "I'll fall in love with her all over again, if I have to. Perhaps it will be easier the second time."

Ratchet chuckled. "Love never gets any easier, my friend. Are you going to tell them of her return? You... _do_ plan to let her stay this time, yes?"

"Of course." He pulled the door open. "I'll be in the hangar."

Half-hearted slam, nearly rattling the whole room, if not the building. "Oh yes," Ratchet murmured, his face plates forming a somewhat satisfied smirk, "he's _not_ happy."

* * *

><p>"Yo, boss!" All in an instant the twins were running up.<p>

"Boss, it really true?" Mudflap started.

"Psycho really back up in dis joint?" Skids continued.

"We's got our Psycho back!"

"Be quiet, you two," Optimus rumbles, his voice dangerously low. He could see the others in their regular modes, hanging back but obviously curious. Bumblebee, Sideswipe, Ironhide. All waiting for an answer. "Look..." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, Blair is here."

"Oh yeah!" Skids and Mudflap cried. "Party in da house now, Psycho back on base!"

"Hey!" Optimus shouted. "Before any of you go getting all excited, just know one thing. She does _not_ have her memory. Alright? Anyone not understand that?"

Bumblebee chirped sadly a few times, looking down with sorrow all too evident on his face. _"You mean she - don't remember - none of us?"_

"Precisely. We're not even sure yet that she knows her name. She has been with the Decepticons for the last three years, and I don't know what sort of things that Megatron may have led her to believe."

All at once the twins made a big display of this, throwing their arms around each other and wailing. "Our Psycho don't know who we is! She don't remember nothin' we done wit her!"

"Calm down," Optimus sighed.

Ironhide stepped forward. "She... really doesn't remember anything about us?"

Optimus shook his head. "We won't know for sure until she wakes up. But Ratchet said there was little chance of her having any memories of us."

Ironhide snarled. "Well, that slags. I wanted to show her how good my cannons were still working without her."

"They're not as clean," Sideswipe pointed out. "Nothing ever is. I mean, good enough to be functional... but remember, when she cleaned us - remember how we used to _sparkle_?"

"She took the time to get everything right," Ironhide agreed. "Good kid, that one."

"Now," Optimus spoke up again. "We're not going to ask her if she remembers us. Not outright. We're going to treat her like _we_ might remember her but we're not sure. At the same time, please try to make her remember. Don't ask her questions, don't try to prompt her with your words. Do things with her that she might remember. _No_, Ironhide," he scolded, seeing the warrior readying his cannons, "that does not mean I'm giving you permission to use her for target practice."

"I know what we can do, fo' sho'!" Skids called, thumping his brother on the back of the head. "Why not we ask her to gives us kick-ass racin' flames again, huh? Like she did dat one time! Orange on me, blue on you's!"

Optimus shook his head again. "I suppose I can give you permission to persuade her into doing _that_. It would probably bring up some pleasant memories. But no one, and I mean _no one_..." He looked at everyone with the harshest look they'd ever seen in his eyes, silently making sure everyone understood that this rule was not to be broken. "Is going to directly tell her anything. Let her figure it out herself through her experiences. Do I make myself clear? Skids? Mudflap?"

"We ain't tell her nothin'," Skids promised.

"Yeah, we 'spect her enough," Mudflap agreed.

"Sideswipe?"

"I'll take her on a couple rides, but I won't mention it was something we used to do."

"Ironhide?"

"... No cannons, then?"

"_Ironhide_."

"Okay, okay. No cannons," he mumbled, looking disappointed. "Alright, alright. I won't blast at her with them, I'll just let her see them, and clean them, and maybe load them, like she used to, if she wants..."

"_I hope she - hasn't changed - so we can't recognize - my baby,"_ Bumblebee commented through the radio, looking sad.

Optimus nodded. "Yes. I hope so too, Bumblebee."

* * *

><p><strong>Awwwz, so sad. Do y'all think she's going to remember any of them when she wakes up?<strong>

**Okay, well, please leave me a review... and as usual, the longer it is, the more it motivates me to write and post!**

**Thanks for reading! ^^**


	4. Chapter 3

**Aye yi yi have I had a day!**

**Well, this is a bit of a depressing chapter, but the next one's going to be a lot of fun~**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"Hey, don't crowd around her. She needs some room to breathe."<p>

"Skids, you heard what he said. _Move back_."

"Sorry, sorry, Boss."

"Is she waking up?"

"Yes, I think so. Would I have called you all in here if I didn't think it was of import?"

Blare felt her eyes slowly opening, but before that she had heard voices. She still heard them, all around her - were they talking about her? Who had found her? It didn't sound like anyone she knew. Not Megatron, or Starscream, or Barricade...

Her vision was blurry at best, but there were... shapes. Very big shapes, with straighter edges than humans. Shapes and colors, that was all she could see. But she could make out glowing blue, a very small bit of it, from every shape.

She blinked a few times, and coughed. Finally she could see! The first thing she saw was a group of Cybertronians gathered around her. They didn't look much like Megatron and the others - there was more variation of color among them. Yellow, green, red, blue, silver, it looked like only one of them was black.

She swallowed, as the yellow-greenish one bent over her, seeming to examine her. "U-Um, hello..."

"It's good that you're awake," it stated, letting her know it was male. In fact, it seemed like _all_ of these were males. Great. "We were wondering how long you were going to be out, but you've only been unconscious for about nine hours. It could have been worse." He looked her right in the eyes, and that was when she realized it - the light, glowing blue. It was the color of their optics. "Do you know my name?" His voice was softer as he said this, less clinical.

She blinked up at him, looking, running her eyes over every inch of his armor. She couldn't remember... did she know him? Did she? "If I _do_ know your name," she said slowly, carefully, "I don't remember it... or you."

"That's alright," he told her, but there was no hiding that slightly disappointed look on his face. "Can you tell me what your name is?"

She glanced at everyone else in the room, not looking at him. She wasn't sure who to focus on, but that bigger bot - silver, blue, red - looking at him seemed to calm her down a little. So she looked in that direction, but rather she looked past him at the wall. "I... everyone calls me Blare."

For a split second, it looked like everyone in the room had a hopeful air. Like there was a chance that she was someone they knew.

She fidgeted. "You know, because I'm loud, I mean? My friends gave me that name."

All the hope in the room immediately dissipated. "Your friends," the green-yellow doctor-like bot muttered. "Why not tell us what happened that they decided to call you _that_?"

"Uh, well, they needed something to call me. And my one friend, Barricade... I mean, they're like _you_ guys. You know, aliens. And Barricade said I better try to find out my name, I was upset - because I shouldn't be screaming every night. That I was louder than his siren. Then my other friend, Starscream, he said that Barricade's siren was louder than anything, and Barricade said maybe that's what they should call me. Starscream thought he meant 'Siren', but..." She giggled, waving her hand. "Starscream's just an idiot sometimes. So they and Master agreed that was what to call me, because it's also a human name. I've never met anyone with that name, though."

"'Master'." The bot she'd been looking at/past before, the largest one, spoke up. His voice was powerful, but gentle at the same time. "And who is that?"

"His name is Megatron." At the name, she smiled happily. She missed him so much right now, but perhaps, when they realized she belonged to him, maybe they would try to get her back. "He's my family, my best friend. He calls me his little butterfly - he says I'm pretty but if he ever moved wrong he'd break me. I tell him I know he won't, but he still holds me like this." She held up her hand, one finger outstretched and curved.

"Why isn't he with you, then?" the black one grunted, looking irritated. He obviously didn't have a merry disposition, she could see that much. "If you're that special to him, I can't imagine him leaving you." A bit of sarcasm there? She didn't think that was necessary, but far be it from her to say anything.

"Oh, he didn't. That was my fault." She reached up with one hand and wrapped her fingers around the necklace. "We were moving... because another Decepticon had crashed and we had to welcome her."

"Nobody let you's ride wit 'em?" the green one asked, sounding surprised. "Aw man, dat ain't right."

"Master drives like a madman," she grinned. "I would have bumped everything and gotten hurt. And Barricade, he just doesn't like me riding in him because I always fall asleep. And I get airsick inside Starscream." She blew out a breath. "Anyway, I... was on the sidewalks. I'm slow, and I saw this store... and I felt like I saw it before. And I stood there, and looked at it. And by the time I knew that I actually _stopped_..." She felt tears trying to squeeze out of her eyes. "They were gone," she managed to choke out.

She managed not to burst out crying, but she threw an arm over her face. It really was all her fault - if she hadn't stopped at the store, she wouldn't have gotten lost. She would still be with them right now, greeting their new comrade.

"Blare." The soft, gruff voice of the doctor came to her. "Can you sit up?"

"N-No."

"Are you just saying that because you don't want to?"

"M-Maybe, I don't know. I don't know much of anything anymore."

"Alright. Well, before I can let you go be with the others-"

"I have to go back!" She shot up, grabbing her necklace and turning it over. "I know this seems cruel, but this is my collar! Look!" She pointed to the symbol, her hands shaking. "Master said if any others ever found me they'd know where to bring me! Take me back to him, please! This is how you know where I belong!"

"Blare." The large bot was by her side almost in an instant, and she wondered how he'd gotten there so fast if she hadn't seen him. "We don't know where he is, which direction he went in. There's nothing we can do until he comes looking for you. And even if there was something that could be done, we would not be willing to do it. You don't belong on that side of the war."

"Yes I do," she retorted tearfully. "I don't care if it's the wrong side to be on, he's the one who's taken care of me for the last three years of my life! I would have died if he hadn't found me, because I wouldn't have known where I was or who I am!"

"You still don't know who you are."

"Yes, I do. I may not know who I used to be, but I know who I am _now_. And who I am now belongs with Master."

"Regardless," the doctor spoke up, quickly filling the space between her and the other bot, "there's nothing we can do right now. You must stay here. Now, Blare. You're sure you don't know anyone's name? Can you put a name to anybody's face here?"

She scanned every Cybertronian in the room. The way they all looked at her, it was so... forlorn. Like they wanted her to know who they were, like they expected her to be able to name them, but they knew she couldn't. It was so... so human.

She looked back at the doctor, and shook her head slowly. "No... I-I'm sorry... but I don't know any of you."

The mood of the room seemed to just fall. Everyone cast their ghostly eyes down, not looking at her. The larger bot went so far as to turn stiffly and walk all the way to the other side of the room, not looking back.

"Is he alright?" she asked, looking after him.

"He's pissed off," the black bot scoffed. "He'll be fine. He's just being a big baby at the moment."

Blare sighed and laid back down slowly. "So I really have to stay here?"

"Not in this room, per se, because it's the medical wing. On the contrary, we want to do all we can to keep you _out_ of this room. Now, my name is Ratchet, but that's all I'm telling you. And before I can give you free reign to go with the others, I'd like to do a quick oral test with you. I want you to close your eyes, and just relax. I'm going to start by saying a word or two, and then I just want you to say whatever comes to your mind. It can be a word, or a feeling, anything. Sound easy?"

"Yeah, easy." She closed her eyes and folded her hands over her stomach. "I'm ready."

"Alright... Cybertron."

She knitted her eyebrows together. "That's where you and Master are from."

"Very good. Now let's try... hmm... Mudflap."

"Eww," she muttered. "That sounds... kind of disgusting."

Sigh. "Skids."

"Um... like... tire tracks?"

Another sigh. "Alright, how about... Ironhide."

"Sounds scary. Like something out of a war movie."

She heard the black bot snort, and she thought perhaps that one might be Ironhide.

"Alright, alright, keep your cannons off. Calm down. Now, Blare... let's see... Jazz."

For some reason, when she heard that, she felt... sad. Like someone she knew was hurt. Was he talking about music, or was that somebody's name? "I just... feel sad. Maybe I listened to that kind of music, and it sounded sad? I... I'm not sure."

"Good, good... hmm... Sam."

"Boy Sam or girl Sam?"

Groan. "Okay, never mind that one... Sideswipe."

"That sounds like a name for a racecar."

Somebody snickered, and there was the sound metal nudging against metal. "She thinks I'm _fast_, Ironhide. You didn't get that kind of compliment."

"Put a plug in it, or you're gonna find my foot up your aft."

"Shut up, _both_ of you," Ratchet snapped. "Alright... perhaps... Bumblebee."

There was a series of excited chirping sounds, and she giggled. "Uhmm... sounds really cute."

"_Sweet little bumblebee!_

_I know what you want from me!_

_Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-la-la!_

_Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-la-la!"_

"Turn. It. _Off_," Ratchet enunciated. The music stopped, and there was a chirp, although this one sounded like a child who had just gotten in trouble. "Alright, we're almost done... Optimus."

"Uhh..." She shook her head. It sounded _so familiar_. "I-I know... it's a name... it means... high quality or... or something, or... I..." She threw her arms around herself. Her whole body was suddenly getting warm, a tingling feeling was rushing through her. "Is - Is it hot in here?" All she got when she thought about that name, whenever she ran it through her mind and she was doing it constantly at the moment, all she was getting was confusion. Confusion and... something else she couldn't really identify.

"Alright. Alright, Blare. Calm down, it's alright. If it's bothering you, don't think about that name anymore. It's alright." A gentle finger on her shoulder, and she was reminded of Megatron's touch, how he used to just sweep a finger down the entire length of her body, from head to toe, as he commented how delicate she was. "One more, and you're free to go."

"Okay, okay... I'm... I'm ready for the last one."

"Alright. I'm going to spell this one, and you tell me if it means anything to you, the letters in this order." He began, very slowly, as if he were speaking to a young child. "B... L... A... I... R."

_B. L. A. I. R._ She wasn't sure how those letters were supposed to sound together. It seemed like it ought to be simple, but she'd never seen those letters in that order before. Was it a name? Was she supposed to know what it sounded like? "I... I don't know. That... doesn't mean anything to me."

Another sigh, much heavier this time. Like he was disappointed that she didn't know what it was. "Alright, then, I... I suppose you're free to go into the hangar. Up, up, now."

She opened her eyes and sat up, accepting the finger Ratchet gave her to help her stand. She was shaky, but good enough. He helped her steady herself until she was standing on her own, even if she was a little staggery. "Who am I going with?" she spoke up, suddenly feeling so very small in a room full of them. "I-I mean, obviously I want to get to know you all, but... who should I start with?"

Those two nearly identical bots, the green one and the red one, ran up to her, each grabbing one of her arms. "We call you's! We call you's first, Psycho!"

She grinned weakly, looking from one to the other. "Ps-Psycho? Is... Is that my name? Do you know?"

Their eyes widened, then they looked at each other. "Nah, nah," the red one spluttered, looking over to the other one as if asking him to continue.

"See, it was like - you's got here last night, we was all sleepin'," the green one stumbled over an explanation.

"Woke us all up," the red one added.

"Yeah yeah, and we's thought it was crazy, so we said we gonna call you Psycho!" the green one finished. "It's like, uh - like, uh - one o' them nicknamey things."

She smiled; she got a good feeling from these two, like they were troublemakers, but that they would really have her back if she ever needed it. "Thanks! That's nice. What can I call you guys?"

"Name's Mudflap," the red one answered.

"Skids," the green one continued.

"Everybody call us da twins! Nobody messes wit da twins!" they both shouted together, almost crushing her in some kind of weird hug. "Dat's right!"

"Okay, okay, well... I guess we're all going out there, huh? What do you guys wanna do?"

"We gonna _hang out_, duh!" they cried, dragging her out the door into the hangar.

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><p><strong>OH MAN. I think Blare may be in a bit of trouble trying to control the twins!<strong>

**What do you guys think is gonna happen next chapter? Will she talk to everyone? Or... everyone but Optimus? Or some other third option?**

**Review and I write EVEN FASTER! (You say impossible, I say CRAZEH!)**

**Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 4

**... SO. lol**

**Anybody ever played a game online called Alter Ego? I think it's super fun. I found it yesterday and I've played it like 5 times already. :D**

**I've had this chapter written for a few days, but I was lazy and allowed myself to get sucked back into Star Trek for a few days. Hope you forgives me!**

**Anyway, this chapter is a lot of fun. Next chapter is probably going to be a bit depressing though... and NOT just because she's obviously going to go talk to OP. (I'm writing as we speak, by the way...)**

**So! I hope you guys enjoy, and more to come soon!**

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><p>Blare laughed as the twins took turns spinning her around and jumping with her. Bumblebee had been playing music for them, and leaping up and down, clapping, giving them clips of a crowd cheering. She wondered, though, why Bumblebee hadn't given them any comments in his real voice - he'd been using choppy radio clips, if he wasn't playing music.<p>

She was singing along with any song she knew, which was more than one might think, since she didn't remember any after the memory loss. For all of his hatred toward humans, Starscream was fascinated by their culture - especially music, which was apparently nothing like the music on Cybertron. He'd used his holoform a few times to buy a boombox and the latest music at some places in town. Whenever Megatron wasn't at base, he'd pop in the newest CD and invite Blare to dance along. They both memorized all the lyrics to the songs they liked (and oh, but Starscream's singing voice made her ears bleed) and had little secret parties when Master was away. Like teenage children did when their parents left the house. And like an annoyed but caring older brother, Barricade pretended that their music _couldn't_ be heard all the way to Sri Lanka. But when Megatron got back, all semblance of friendship among the three vanished.

Here, there was no one to come home and spoil the fun. The only one who might complain was Ironhide, the black bot, but pretty much the most he'd do was grumble a little.

"_Bottoms up, bottoms up_

_Eh, what's in ya cup?_

_Got a couple bottles_

_But a couple ain't enough_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up_

_Throw ya hands up_

_Tell security_

_We 'bout to tear this club up_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up..._"

"Get ready fo' ya solo, Psycho!" Skids yelled over the rest of the chorus.

Blare clapped in time and did upper body rolls, waiting for her cue.

"_Uh, uh, yeah_

_Now!_

_Can I get that 'tron?_

_Can I get that remmy?_

_Can I get that Coke?_

_Can I get that henny?_

_Can I get that margarita_

_On the rock, rock, rocks?_

_Can I get salt_

_All around that rim, rim, rim, rim?_

_Trey! I was like, 'Yo, Trey?_

_Do you think you can_

_Buy me a bottle of Rosé?'_

_Okay, let's get it now..._"

She was surprised that she could rap fast enough to keep up, but she guessed she could thank Starscream for being creepily obsessed with Nicki Minaj. After the final part where she practically scream-growled, "_Now bottoms up and double my dosage!_", they all burst out laughing (of course, Bumblebee used a clip, subsequently halting the song).

Blare put a hand on each of the twins' arms. "This was so fun, you two! We'll have to do it again soon, but I'd like to get to know the others a little. Okay?"

"Alright den, we gets it, Psycho." Skids high-fived her.

"Yeah, we's talk to ya later," Mudflap agreed, also giving her a high-five.

She grinned and waved at them with both hands as she spun to leave. "See you, guys!" She faced Bumblebee and tugged on his hand. "Come on, Bee - can we talk for a little bit now?"

He nodded, chirping happily. _"Let's go! Move, move! Hup, two, hup, two, yah, yah!"_

She giggled and sat down next to him once they'd found a spot a little ways away from the twins. _"So, whaddaya want?"_ Bumblebee asked through the radio.

"Well, I just wanted to ask..." She shrugged, playing absently with a section of her hair. "I mean... I was just wondering... how come you're only using the radio to talk? Do you not like me?"

Bumblebee looked at her, then sighed, putting a hand against his forehead. _"No, no, it ain't like that," _he replied, and even though the clip didn't quite sound sad, Bumblebee really looked sad, almost like he was about to cry. _"You are - just the nicest person, you know - on the planet! - Almost," _he added.

"Then why won't you talk to me with your real voice?" She reached over and placed her hand on the back of his free one.

"_I tried to - I can do it - but - ow!" _He hung his head, chirping softly.

Blare frowned, rubbing her hand over his. Oh, how could she have thought he didn't like her? He had problems, just like her. "So... you _can_ talk, but... it hurts for you to talk in your real voice? Is that it?"

"_We have a winner!" _he answered, using a clip from a game show.

"Oh." She slipped her hand off his and let her arms dangle loosely between her knees. "So that's why you use the radio, then."

"_Yup, kiddo."_

"Oh. I'm sorry." She sighed, glancing over at the twins, who were busy beating each other's processors out like it was some kind of freaky contest. "Hey... I know this is probably a lot to ask, considering it hurts, but... do you think you could say my name? I just wanna hear it in your real voice - just once."

He nodded, as if her request were completely understandable. He reached over and brushed her hair away from her face with one finger. His optics seemed as if they were staring right down into her soul, like he knew her so well and wanted her to remember him. "Blare," he said simply. His voice was polite, with some accent she couldn't place, yet still retained some innocence of youth. He probably wasn't very old, considering how the Cybertronians aged, but he sounded so mature for how old he probably was. His finger was against her neck now, and his eyes fell halfway closed. "Sweet little doll. Blare."

She closed her eyes for a second. _Doll_. It sounded like he had been such good friends with her, and he had a special name for her because she was so tiny compared to all of them. She opened her eyes and reached up, wrapping her hand around his finger. "You called me that, didn't you?" She nuzzled her cheek against the smooth metal of his palm. "I'm sorry. I don't even remember."

"_Don't beat yourself up."_ He was back to using the radio._ "You're a good kid. D-Don't worry about it."_

"Aww, you're a good boy, aren't you?" She threw her arms around his, and grinned up at him. "If I do know you, I hope I'll remember soon. You seem really nice. We can be friends, right?"

"_You're kidding - there's no way - I'd say no!" _He looked happy, and picked her up, enveloping her in an Autobot's version of a hug.

She did her best to hug back. "Thanks. Maybe it'll be easier to ride this out if I've got a friend. I mean, till Master comes for me?"

He let go of her, setting her gently back on the ground. _"I don't think - you should go back."_

She blew out a breath. "Yeah. Nobody but me thinks so, I guess."

"_We just want what's best for you, sweetie."_

"That clip was a little creepy, Bee."

"_My bad."_

"Hey, whatever." She stretched out, shaking her hair. "Look, Bee, I'm gonna head over and talk to the others, okay? But I'll come have some more fun with you again soon... 'kay then?"

He nodded. _"Good-bye."_

"Later, Bee." She bumped fists with him before looking around at the remaining bots. The only ones she hadn't talked to yet were the silver one, Sideswipe, and the black one, Ironhide. Hmm, which one of them should she talk to first?

... Eh. Sideswipe.

Blare walked over to the chrome-colored bot, who was doing what looked to her like some kind of speed-training workout. She looked up at him, not quite sure how to get his attention. He was really focused, probably tuning out everything around him. "Sideswipe!" she shouted, as loud as she could. "Sideswipe!"

He glanced down at her. "Whoa! Sorry, didn't see you there." He slowed down. "How's it going, Blare?"

"Oh, it's going. I was with the twins and Bumblebee. I just wanted to get around to everyone for a little while, I guess... you know." She rubbed her arm nervously. "Do you think you could pick me up? I think I might remember... something."

"Hey, sure. If you think something's comin' to you, I'd be happy to oblige." He lowered his hand, and she climbed into his palm, holding on tight to a finger. Almost like she normally did with Megatron, only Megatron wasn't silver.

He lifted her up, about to eye level, and blinked at her. "Well? You getting anything, Blare?"

"I... I don't know." There was a flicker of recognition in her mind, but something was missing. This position struck a note in her mind, a rather melancholy note, but it was too cold for what she was thinking of. "Will you take me outside? It might help."

"Alright, I guess. Can't hurt anything. Hey, Ironhide!" He held up Blare to the other Cybertronian. "Your turn with her next, when we get back inside."

Ironhide just scowled and returned to doing an inspection on his cannons.

Once they were outside, Blare looked down at the grass and flowers, taking in the feeling of the sun on her face and arms. She could feel a memory pushing on her, but there were no images. All she got were voices, textures.

"_Sideswipe, you gotta calm down."_

"_Calm down? How the hell am I supposed to calm down! I find out he's alive, and I can't even do anything!"_

"_Come on. Come on, you big, strong Autobot, you." _There was a feeling of smooth metal under her hand, her palm and fingers._ "You'll find him. Or he'll find you."_

Whatever the metal was, it ripped away from her hand. _"You don't know that. Don't talk like you know... you're just a human. You don't know what it's like, to lose your family."_

Overwhelming sadness, like something was clawing at her heart. _"You know, __Sideswipe... we don't know a lot about each other, do we? I know how you feel. You think I don't, but I do."_

"_Maybe you do, maybe you don't. It doesn't matter because I just want to be mad right now."_

"_Boy, do I know that feeling. It's okay to feel like that, you know..."_

"_I just want him back." _Someone pulled her into a hug, pressing her face and bare arms against the warm metal. It was too hot, with the sun and this person's warmth.

She fell back, right on her ass, grabbing at her head. "Oh God!"

Then she realized she was back in the present, on Sideswipe's palm. She had fallen, up against a couple of his fingers. She tried to take a few deep breaths, suddenly shaking and cold in spite of the sun's heat bearing down on her.

"Blare. Blare! Snap out of it, are you okay?"

She jerked her head up to look at Sideswipe, and knew she was staring, just flat-out staring, with wide eyes. "S-Sideswipe?"

He nodded, turning back to the door of the hangar. "Alright, let's get you back inside."

She looked at him as he carried her inside, trying to remember more. What had she talked about with him? Did she really know him that well? Who was he looking for? "Sideswipe..."

"Yeah."

"Who... Whoever you're trying to find... I-I hope you find him."

He scoffed a little, but it was half-hearted, like he didn't feel like spending the energy needed to be sarcastic. "_That_ was your memory? Guess I didn't help you as much as I thought I would - I don't think that memory's too important in helping you."

"So it _did_ happen."

"I'm not going to say anything. You decide whether it was real or just your mind making things up." He carried her over to Ironhide and put her on the ground by the mech's foot. "She is _all yours_, buddy. See you, Blare."

"Bye, Sideswipe!" She waved, then turned to Ironhide. "Uhm... so, what do you want to do?"

"Blow someone's head off."

"Ehhm... anything _besides_-"

"Blow _your_ head off."

"Ohhh-kay..." She rocked back and forth on her heels. "So, we're just supposed to be tolerating each other, then? For, like, what - five minutes?"

"_Five_. You're lucky if you'll survive two." He sighed, disengaging his cannon and crossing his arms over his chest plate. "Let's talk. Before I get bored and think about using you for target practice. Because I rarely miss."

"Uh, okay..." She pointed up at his right optic. "Where did you get that scar?"

He grunted, as if he thought it was a stupid question. "In a battle."

"Well, obviously. What battle?"

"Part of a war."

"Duh. Was it here, or was it back when you were still on Cybertron?"

"Cybertron. Would you like to get reacquainted with my cannons?"

"Uhm... why do you ask?"

"Because if you ask me one more irrelevant question, that's what's going to happen."

"Okay. Might I _see_ the cannons? You know... while they're still turned off?"

A slight growl, but he extended his hand. "Climb up here, then. Brevity or insanity?"

"Curiosity," she replied, scurrying up the length of his arm to his shoulder, where she could easily see the cannons without being too close. She peered down at them and whistled. "Wow! They're, uh... really big. How much can you fire at once without having to reload?"

"A lot."

"Oh. Okay then, well... how many wars have you fought in?"

"More than you'd think is acceptable, I'd imagine."

"Huh. You fought in that civil war on Cybertron, didn't you?"

"Yes. Right alongside all these other brave soldiers."

"I bet Ratchet worked on you, huh? If you got hurt?"

"More than once, yes. I sustained several injuries, and Ratchet was our main and best medic."

"Cool, cool." She reached down and set her hand on the back part of this cannon. "Maybe I could clean them later? I mean, they're really dirty. They're still working, of course, but they don't look as nice as they could." She looked up. "Would that be okay with you?"

"Well, I..." He shrugged. "I suppose it would be alright. If you want to do it, and I'm getting something out of it, who am I to refuse? Certainly wouldn't be very nice... not that I'm the nicest guy, but still. Besides, it might help you remember something. You know, maybe. When were you thinking of doing it?"

"Umm, I'm not sure. Maybe later tonight, when you're not busy?"

"Sounds good to me. See you then." With that, he turned away to resume his own inspection. As if he didn't want to talk to her anymore, for some odd, unfathomable reason.

She turned away, pretending to give him the cold shoulder as well. She swept the room with her eyes, looking for anyone she hadn't yet talked to or spent time with.

The large bot had finally come out of the medical ward. Why she hadn't heard him, she had no idea. But it had sounded like, earlier when she'd been with the twins and Bumblebee, that he and Ratchet were arguing or something.

Maybe she should go talk to him now.

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><p><strong>OOOOOOH.<strong>

**Snap.**

**:D**

**Anyway. Next chapter shall be both exciting and depressing. I'll be introducing that new 'Con femme (in case anyone's wondering, it's NOT Alice, it's an OC! Yay!) and there MAY just be a bit of brooding on several parts...**

**See you here for the next one soon! (Oh, and to me, a nice long review is like a yummy chocolate chip cookie. Who wants to give me some review-cookies?)**

**Thanks for reading! ^^**


	6. Chapter 5

**Well... don't feel like writing an author's note, really. So you guys luck out. XD**

**Just wanna say sorry it took so long, but more will be coming soon. I actually liked writing this chapter, especially the beginning.**

**Hope I made the wait worthwhile!**

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><p>Starscream coughed and gagged and just all-around struggled as Megatron pinned him against the wall. "My lord, please! I'm sorry, so sorry! <em>So sorry<em>!"

Megatron growled and pulled Starscream away from the wall by his throat, then slammed him back against it. "You _lost_ our girl! Can't I rely on you for anything? Each and every time I give you a task to do, you disappoint! Again and _again_!" He threw the other Cybertronian to the ground.

"I-I was in the sky, my lord," Starscream wheezed. "B-Barricade should have watched her-"

"Shut your audio hole." The newest Decepticon among them, a femme by the name Moonfall, pushed herself off the other wall. "He says it's your fault, Star-screams-like-a-tiny-organic-femme, then it's your fault. Would you _like_ to have my guns shoved up your aft?"

Starscream growled, getting to his feet. "Why don't you go find an alt mode so you can be a bitch on wheels instead of _just_ a bitch?"

Moonfall snarled, and in an instant Starscream was against the wall once more, this time pinned by the femme's servos. She bashed the back of his head on the wall and got her face close to his. "You are _mine_ to kill, you hear me, Stars-creep? Don't go getting killed by any humans, or by Lord Megatron, because _you are MINE_."

He gasped and shoved her away. "H-How dare you!"

"How dare _I_? Pft. You pathetic aft-hole, feigning your false superiority..."

"Moonfall!" Megatron barked. "Perhaps you _should_ go find an alternate mode."

Moonfall scowled before shooting a look at Starscream. A very nasty, vengeful look. "Of course, my lord. I shall find something suitable." She stalked past Starscream, "accidentally" bumping into him - hard. "Remember what I said, Star-screams-like-a-girl. If you get yourself killed, I'll come to the Pit myself and drag you back so _I_ can do the job right."

Starscream stared at her as she sauntered off, even as he rubbed at his arm. He could already tell, this was going to be a love-hate relationship. "And I thought femmes were supposed to be soft and gentle... what a 'c u next Tuesday'..." As he said this, an uncomfortable, passionate heat rose in his processors, almost as if to betray him. After all, bitch or not, he hadn't seen a femme in a very, very long time.

Meanwhile, Megatron had decided to ignore the two after he'd issued his order to Moonfall. He had traveled outside, but an empty spot in his mind was making it rather difficult to concentrate on trying to think. He had gone outside before, but most of those times Blare had been with him, in his hand. She may not have remembered anything about herself, but she knew this planet; he didn't. He wasn't as confident outside without her as he was inside.

Cities were different. They were full of familiar, if primitive, technology. Cities were easy because they held something he knew for certain, something he knew and felt quite comfortable around. But out here, it was rural and strange, made him uneasy. It was all organic out here, no technology to speak of but themselves. Of course it seemed harmless enough - collections of hardened minerals, bunches of sun-absorbing chlorophyll, the odd tubes of xylem surrounded by a pulpy covering, more chlorophyll blanketing the tops of them. But harmlessness aside, it was all so weird and unfamiliar.

He sighed, scanning the area once again, for probably the fifth time today. Still no sign of Blare. But what did he expect, honestly? For her to spontaneously show up now, even though his previous searches were fruitless? There wasn't any point in looking for her when he knew he wasn't going to find her here. Had he not just lectured _her_ about the very same thing? Just yesterday, when she'd inquired if one could see Cybertron from Earth. He clearly said no, yet she persisted with the desire to look. Humans... such odd creatures indeed.

It was true. Like an imbecile, he missed the girl. Because it had merely started as stealing an ally from the Autobots, possibly having her as a prisoner, he assumed he'd not get attached to her. She _was_ only a human... not worth giving affection to. But the confusion in her face, that she didn't know who she was... hard to resist, really. She didn't knew she was supposed to be with the Autobots; he thought to raise her all over and make her, mold her, into a Decepticon without having to persuade her too heavily. She trusted him, because he'd saved her. Try as he might, when she told him things like, "I'm so happy you found me, Master!" or "You love me as much as I love you, right? We're a family", it was hard not to offer a compliment back or say that yes, he did love her and yes, they were a family.

So yes, he had developed a sort of affection toward her. Of course he missed her. Of course it felt as if a part of him were gone too.

He looked out over the land once again, and closed his eyes. Sometimes when there was nothing else to do, he allowed himself to browse the humans' World Wide Web. A time ago, he'd come across a philosophy site. He'd found a concept that he couldn't get out of his mind, with the situation now. It had said that if you truly care about something, you must set it free. If it knows to come back, and does come back, then it is yours forever. But if it does not return to you, it was never yours to claim in the first place.

He closed his eyes, and could almost feel Blare in his palm again, clinging tightly to his thumb with her tiny form. Her warm shape of a human, pressing against his fingers and still trusting him not to drop or crush her.

"Oh, my little butterfly... come back to me... fly back. You are, always have been, and always will be mine. Return to me, Blare."

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><p>Blare looked at the mech for a moment, then began to walk toward him. He looked as if he were thinking, and perhaps upset by something. Maybe he was upset that she was here.<p>

She finally got closer to him, but he was still staring off into space. She worked up the courage needed, as much as she had in her, and approached him. She was easily close enough to touch him, but she made the wise decision to keep her hands to herself. "Excuse me," she called, making sure she was loud enough to be heard but not so loud that she startled him.

He glanced down, blinking at her, then tried to smile, but it wasn't completely genuine. He looked so troubled. "Hello, Blare."

She looked at the concrete beside him. "So, if I sat down beside you, would I be interrupting some kind of deep, personal reflection or something?"

This comment elicited a perfunctory chuckle from him. "No, feel free to take a seat."

She did so and crossed her legs, just as Starscream had taught her. She hadn't forgotten them. "I think I've talked to everyone but you. And Ratchet, but he seems to like the isolation so I think I'll just leave well enough alone."

"Yes. While I was speaking with Ratchet, I heard you interacting with Skids and Mudflap. It seems they've taken a shine to you."

"Oh, yeah." She shot a glimpse at the twins, and quite predictably they were were still having a wrestling match. Bumblebee was trying to play referee, to little avail. "They're kind of idiots, but... I guess they're _my_ idiots. They're sweet, at least, and they care about each other."

"It's ideal for brothers to be so attached to each other." He sounded a little sad now, and she wondered why. "There is the joy of that bond, you know... but then there is also the agony of having it suddenly ripped apart. What do you believe, Blare? Does the joy outweigh the agony, or the other way around?"

She shrugged, grasping her ankles. "I don't know. But I know if _I_ had a brother, I'd want to have a lot of good times with him, even if we did get separated. Maybe I'd probably feel that way if I had a sister instead, too."

"I see."

"Hey!" She tapped his arm. "I never got your name. What is it?"

"I am Optimus Prime."

"Oh..." She remembered how utterly confused and flustered she'd gotten when Ratchet mentioned the name _Optimus_ in his little mini-word-quiz-thing. "So that was _your_ name I got all hot and bothered over. I-I'm sorry. I was just trying to see if I remembered anything, and... I guess if I _do_ remember anything about you, it's a little confusing."

"That's fine, Blare. You've lost your memory, and it's apparently been gone for quite some time. I wouldn't expect you to remember anything right away. Nobody does."

"I know." She pushed some hair away from her face. "But I still feel guilty. It seems like I was really close to everybody here, and I don't even remember them."

He was quiet for a moment, then he spoke again. "You know, Ratchet wants to do more work-up on you."

"He's not taking any of my blood, I can tell you that right now."

"Well, if you refuse, he'll just have Jolt hold you down while he fills up the vial."

"Even if I'm screaming at a high enough pitch to shatter glass?"

"He won't care, but he will apologize after."

She looked out at all the others, then took a breath. "I remembered something," she said quietly. "When I was with Sideswipe."

"What was it?"

"I remembered... I had some kind of conversation with him. We were talking about somebody he was trying to find, and he was upset." She reached up and rubbed at her arm. "I could feel it too. We were outside, and I was trying to calm him down. He was mad because he found out this person was alive, but he couldn't do anything. We talked... and then I felt his arms around me."

"That was all? There was nothing else to go along with that?"

She smiled a little. "I told him about it. He said of all the things I could have remembered, it was useless to remember that."

Optimus chuckled, though it sounded rather empty, like he didn't really find it funny. "That's Sideswipe for you. I'm glad you remembered one thing, no matter how little or how seemingly insignificant."

"Yeah." She brought her knees to her chest, letting out a deep breath. "I feel so guilty. I knew everyone here, didn't I? And not just acquaintances. They were all my best friends. Right?"

"That is for you to discover, Blare, not for anyone to tell you." His big, bright eyes blinked down at her. "What do you believe?"

"I... I _must_ have," she answered, though without a lot of real conviction in her voice. "The twins... it's like they've called me 'Psycho' forever. From the first minute they met me, I mean. And Bumblebee called me his little doll... and in his real voice, too, just because I asked. That's not something you do for a stranger. I had that memory of Sideswipe. And Ironhide... um... he seems nice, I guess. And _you_..." She looked up at him, then back down again. "I don't... really know about you just yet. Maybe we weren't as close as I was to the others?"

"It could be so." Was it just her, or did he sound kind of... sad?

"But you _know_," she groaned. "You know what our relationship was, and you won't tell me."

"Because that wouldn't be your memory. That would be me feeding you all the information of what happened. You wouldn't truly remember anything. You would only know what I tell you, and none of it would be your own memories. If you remember, it's best for you to do so independently. Besides..." The corner of his mouth turned up just a little. "You'd probably just forget it again."

She scoffed, crossing her arms. "Yeah, _that's_ a nice thing to say. Just for that, I'll make sure not to remember anything about you." But even as she said it she was smiling, just as he had.

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><p><strong>I love Moonfall's personality. She's just so MEAN to Starscream. Is there any real reason for it? Or is she just a bitch to everyone? Hmmm, let's find out...<strong>

**Also like Blare's little talk with Optimus and how they're already kind of joking with each other. How soon will she remember anything about HIM? Who knows.**

**Well, hope you guys liked! Reviews are always a nice surprise. Thanks for reading! ^^**


	7. Chapter 6

**YAAAAAY it hasn't been too long! I'm not a horrible person like usually! :D**

**Well, the next couple chaps should be fun to write. And read, I suppose...**

**Hope you all enjoy! ^^**

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><p>Blare had never really left. She stayed there, until night fell on the base. She sat with Optimus for a while longer, not saying much, just being there with each other. It was a little awkward, but for some reason it felt... normal. Like a routine, almost, something she did every day. But it <em>wasn't<em>. She knew that; she'd never done this, not in the last three years. She didn't even know him, so why did she feel like being there with him, just beside him, fit into her typical day so well?

After a bit, Skids and Mudflap had come and taken her away, asking her to play a game of Hostage with them and Bumblebee. Despite not knowing what that game was, she agreed because she knew that if she didn't, they'd whine about how she'd been with Optimus for _hoooooouuuuuuurs_.

The game turned out to be a more playful form of a training exercise they used to do on Cybertron. One of them (for the first round, Bumblebee) took her inside their alternate mode and drove like a bat out of hell trying to escape the other two, because apparently the other two were Autobot police. And the one carrying the human (in this care, Blare) was a Decepticon who had taken a human hostage, hence the name of the game.

Basically it was just the Cybertronian version of cops and robbers, with a higher speed, but it sounded fun. So why not?

So Blare cautiously climbed into the little yellow Camaro, noting the "Bee-otch" air freshener hanging from the mirror. She'd been instructed to climb into the back as soon as Bumblebee took off, and take off he did. He must have been doing about sixty, swerving like the devil as she tried to crawl into the back where the seats were down. She was being jarred all over the place, bumping into the front seats, against the gear shift, the parking brake, and God knew what else.

"Beeeeeeee!" she shouted, but she was laughing. "Slow down! Come on! Just 'cause they're after you doesn't mean you have to - whoa!"

He'd made a rather sharp turn, pitching her into the back. She rolled over a couple times, eventually landing on her stomach. She pushed up and supported her weight on her arms and hands, then shook her hair out of her face. "Hey! _Uncalled_ for, Bee! Holy-! What is your problem, you speed demon?"

She knew Sideswipe was probably faster, but still! She was somewhat used to it, though, thanks to the few times she'd ridden with Barricade. He liked to go fast too. So did Megatron, but she could count the number of times she'd ridden with him on one finger.

Bumblebee laughed through the radio. _"Hang on to your hat, kid."_

"Little late for that now, Bee!" she called.

"_Watch my back."_

"Alright, alright, geez." She grabbed the door handle and pulled herself up onto her knees, glancing out the window. Pretty much all she could see was a blur. They were going so fast!

Then a blur of green buzzed up beside them - not totally beside them, catching up. She heard a yell, but she couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Bee!" She hung onto the side of the door. "Skids is on our tail! Floor it!"

Why the "hostage" was aiding her "captor", she'd never know. But it was a fun game, nonetheless. It gave her time to spend with them, memories she might recover. She missed Megatron and the others, of course, but she wanted to remember. And if Megatron was a good person, like she knew he was, he would be happy to discover she had her memories when she returned.

"_Bee, slow down! You're going to hurt yourself - or me - or both of us!" Laughter. This same sensation of gripping the door handle, whipping around the room with wild abandon. That was... that was her_ talking! Just like before, when she was with Sideswipe!

"_**Hang on, we're pullin' a U-ey!" **_The screech of tires, a squealing U-turn.

"_Hey!" A new voice entered the fray, and it sounded like Skids or Mudflap - she couldn_'t tell which one. _"Dat ain't fair, Bumblebee! You know dat's illegal!"_

"_Well we ain't on public roads, ya glitch!" Whichever of the twins it had been the first time, this one was the opposite._

"_Who you callin' a glitch, ya idiot?"_

"_Watch where ya goin', ya fraggin' dumbass! You almos' hit da wall!"_

"_We supposed ta be on da same team! Stop yellin' at me!"_

"_Both of you shut up!" That was her again. She got the distinct feeling that they hadn_'t heard her then. They were still fighting! _"Aren't you guys SUPPOSED to be focusing on rescuing little old me?"_

Screeeeech. Then the sound of metal colliding, both of them shrieking and tires skidding. She felt the sensation of being scared and annoyed all at once.

"_Slag it! Dat hurt! What'd you do dat fo'?"_

"'_Cause you was bein' a assho', assho'!"_

She felt a jolt run through her, and pounded on the door. That was what she'd done before, right? "Bee!" she shouted. That was what she'd said before. "Bee, stop! Let me out! They got hurt!"

Bumblebee screeched to a halt, but he didn't open any of the doors. Instead the radio came back to life. _"What are you talkin' about? ... Th-They're okay!"_

As she was basically shoving herself against the door, the memory faded away into nothingness. Had it... been longer this time? _Wow,_ she thought, slightly frightened, _I'm remembering things really fast... this is insane..._ She shook her head and fell back onto the floor. "I... I'm sorry, Bee. I was... I was thinking... we played this game before, didn't we? And the twins got upset at each other, and one of them crashed into the other..."

All of a sudden, it was back.

Her hands were on her hips. _"For God's sake! Mudflap, Skids, that was super immature, not to mention totally stupid! What is wrong with you guys that you like to destroy things - including each other? Do you know how much work me and Ratchet are gonna have to do to fix you up?" Her arms were crossed now, and her eyes were hardened in a stare. She could see, just a little... the blurry colors of each twin before her. "Well? What do you have to say for yourselves?"_

The twin blurs shifted a bit, and now they weren't as clear to her. _"We sorry," they said in unison. "We was just tryin' to have some fun wit you, Psycho..."_

"_Yeah yeah, I know... God, I'm just glad you guys aren't seriously hurt. Now you two march your asses into medical bay. I'll be there in a minute."_

"_Okay, Psycho."_

The Skids blur turned around. _"You ain't gonna yell at us while you fixin' us, is you?"_

"_I just might. But at least I'll fix you."_

"_Yeah." She couldn_'t quite tell, but maybe Skids smiled a little. _"Thanks, Psycho. You da best, you know dat."_

And now, the memory was really over. It was longer than the one she'd had with Sideswipe.

"_What's the matter?" Bumblebee spoke up from the radio. "You okay?"_

She shook her head, trying to clear it, and heard the doors unlock. She slid her hand off the door and took in a shaky breath. "Yeah, I'm... I'm fine, Bee. S-Sorry about that."

"_You sure?" he persisted._

She nodded. "I... I'm alright, Bee. I just... remembered something. It was scary so I... freaked out a little, I guess."

"_Get outta the car." He opened the door for her. "What's the doc say?"_

She shook her head slowly, swinging her legs out the side of the door. "I... don't understand, Bee. I haven't talked to Ratchet except for earlier."

"_Well, do it!"_

"Oh... _oh_. You want me to go talk to Ratchet?"

"_We have a winner!" There was that same clip from earlier._

"Alright then, alright, I'm going."

* * *

><p>"Hey! Star-screams-like-a-girl!" There was the rev of an engine - a very show-offy engine to match the owner's show-offy voice. "Check out my alt mode. It's way better than yours. I've seen yours, and it's shit. You like mine? Look at the color, it's the exact shade of human blood! Isn't it the greatest?"<p>

Starscream glanced up, annoyed, just in time to see a dark red Polaris all-terrain-vehicle strolling into the building. He flicked the stereo off (Megatron wasn't here at the moment, and Barricade never complained) and crossed his arms. "Oh. _You're_ back. I thought I heard an insect! It's unfortunate, you're too big to swat, unlike Blare was."

"Fragging aft-hole," she sang out. "Come on, you know you want the sexy ATV. Just admit it and maybe our time together won't be as painful as I was planning."

"And what exactly were you planning?"

"Luring you to the beach with my seductive charm and then pushing you into the farthest reaches of the humans' ocean."

"That's _so_ not going to happen, Moonfall. Just thought I'd let you know."

"Starscream, if you're not difficult and you just _admit_ your excitement at seeing a beautiful femme such as myself, perhaps I'll simply seduce you to the beach. I won't even push you in the water... I won't even _splash_ you."

"That's also not going to happen, bitch. I don't really feel like having to care for a sparkling at this point in my life."

He heard her scoff, then she transformed. She was about his size, maybe a little shorter and a fair bit more slender. "You do know we don't _have_ to make a sparkling, don't you? Perhaps you're a moron who never got 'that speech' from his mother."

Heat fogged up his processor, and he turned away from her so she wouldn't be able to see him steaming. "O-Of course I did! I know all about it, I'm not stupid! I just don't want one thing leading to another, that's all! Why don't you just leave me alone?" he snapped, hopefully finishing the conversation.

Moonfall growled, and he was shoved forward. "Frag it! Be that way, you Primus-damned _rust-bucket_! I don't need you! I don't need _anybody_!" He heard her quickly making her way toward the exit. "And you better stay the hell away from me, because the next time I see your disgusting face I'm going to wreck it."

And with that, she was gone.

Starscream let out a breath, shaking his head. She really was a bitch. Why had he just turned her away like that? She was all in one, really; attractive, confident, violent, and what a sexy little alt mode she'd found. Then again, he wasn't sure he could survive hourly beatings, so he was eager to drive her away as well. **(A/N: No pun intended... or maybe it was... hehehe...) **There was also the issue of how long it had been since any of them had seen a femme, so he wasn't sure he remembered how to go about this... "dating" thing, as the humans called it.

After a moment, Barricade came in. "That yelling slash bitching... that was you and Moonfall having a lovers' spat, yes?"

Starscream snarled. "Shut your vocal processor or I might just be tempted to rip it out so you won't be as annoying. She means _nothing_ to me."

"Oh, I'm sure she doesn't, Starscream. But I just thought I'd let you know, that was _definitely_ not the right way to handle that. And if you piss her off, you know who she'll come running to for an audio processor that's tuned in to her bitching about you? The third in command - _me_. And I'll be more than happy to adjust my audio processors to that setting."

"Take her, I don't... care."

"I'm not an idiot. Look, I won't go after her unless she makes a move first, yes? That should give you a bit of time to sort out whether you want to spark-bond with her or not. And if not, she's mine. You know that."

"Why don't you just go find someone who actually cares about what you're saying, Barricade?"

"Huh." Barricade crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. "Lord Megatron's out there staring at the sky like a human again."

"He misses the girl. She's been with us for three years, you know - I have to admit, she was entertaining. Living with her became normal for us, so I suppose he's just not used to not having her around. He always was rather fond of her." He leaned against the wall too. "What do you think now that she's gone?"

Barricade scoffed. "Well, it's certainly a lot quieter without her around." He glanced over at Starscream, smirking. "Although, perhaps I'm wrong, with the way you and Moonfall are going at it."

Starscream scowled. "Ohh, so _very_ mature of you, Barricade. Don't you miss having her around even a little?"

"I don't know. I think that whatever she's suffering right now, she deserves it for not keeping up with us. She knows she has to be fast, and apparently she decided to wander off." He looked out the window. "Why? Do _you_ miss her?"

"Oh slag it, Barricade, you know that when Lord Megatron wasn't here we were close to friends. Allies, at the very least. If we were attacked at least we'd know she'd fight to the end for the Decepticons."

Barricade flicked his optics shut and shook his head. "But she's not a Decepticon, Starscream... you know that. She was on the Autobots' side, then she lost her memory. She wouldn't have even been here if she didn't have amnesia when we found her."

"I know, I know." Starscream's gaze flickered to the window where Barricade had been looking a moment ago. "She may not have been a Decepticon... but she was one of us."

* * *

><p><strong>MWAHAHA. I loved writing this chapter - particularly the StarscreamMoonfall/Barricade interactions and conversations and all that good stuff. I love writing Moonfall's character. ON the one hand, she hates Starscream because she feels she's superior to him... ON THE OTHER HAND, she's got a bit of a Decepti-crush on him. Soooo there's a bit of... shall I even say it?... sexual tension involved with her.**

**THERE I SAID IT AND I'M RUNNING AWAY NOW! *runs away***

**Reviews are nice~**

**Thanks for reading! ^^**


	8. Chapter 7

**Hey y'all! Sorry it's been so long, but I have some coolio news!**

**I have created a WIKI for this story. I'm a nerd, I know. But if you want to check it out, here's the address!**

**inremembrancefanfic(dot)wikia(dot)com/wiki/In_Remembrance_-_Fanfic_Wiki**

**Just replace the (dot) parts with an actual period. There's not much yet, but there is a cool banner and I started a page for Blair/Blare! Feel free to add to it, if you keep up on the chapters! I'd love for people to add to it and leave their mark and/or interpretations of the story!**

**Oh yeah, and I made a video preview trailer thingy. It'll be up on YouTube soon, next time I update I'll give the link. :D**

**Ah yes, and one more thing. So far I've got a few songs for the pairings. YOU MUST GO LISTEN TO THEM OR I WILL TELL OPTIMUS HE CAN HAVE YOUR FACE. (I seem to use this threat a lot...)**

**The theme of the whole story is "Memories" by Within Temptation. Kind of self explanatory, BUT IT'S AN AWESOME SONG.**

**Optimus x Blair/Blare = I only have one so far for these two. It's called "Vanilla Twilight" and it's by Owl City. IT'S SO SCHWEET, IT GIVES ME CAVITIES WHEN I LISTEN TO IT.**

**Megatron x Blair/Blare = For some weird reason, I have THREE for them. First one is "I Thought I Lost You" by Miley Cyrus and John Travolta. (Don't yell at me for this one, I like it!) Second is "Decoy" by Paramore, and even though it's a girl singer I imagine it's Megs singing to Blare. And the last one is my favorite for them, it's called "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles. The first verse is Blare singing, then the second is Megs, and then Blare again, and I guess the last chorus would be both of them...**

**Starscream x Moonfall = I also have three for them! First one is "Dance Dance" by Fall Out Boy. Don't ask me why, it just fits them. Listen to it and you'll know what I mean, LOL. The other two are my favorites. One is "How Can I Live?" by Ill Nino, it's from the Freddy vs. Jason movie. (Horror lovers, unite!) And the last one is my absolute fave for them, it's called "Super Psycho Love" by Simon Curtis. If you listen to no other, LISTEN TO THAT ONE OH MY PRIMUS IT'S SO AWESOME.**

**Barricade x Moonfall = Is this a real pairing or not? Ah well, people see things differently, and I could see them together, kinda. So their song is "Sugar We're Goin' Down", it's also by Fall Out Boy.**

**More to come soon, hopefully! (And maybe I'll have more than ONE for Optimus and Blare soon...)**

**Well, this chapter is like super long so I hope you enjoy it! ^^**

* * *

><p>Blare knocked on the door of the medical bay. "R-Ratchet... is it okay if I come in? Or are you busy? I can come back later, it's just that Bumblebee wanted me to talk to you... m-maybe I should just come back..."<p>

"No, no, come in," she heard Ratchet's voice grumble from behind the door. "Just be careful, don't touch anything. Just come in and sit down, Blare."

She pushed the door open and walked inside. Ratchet was examining something over at a table, and she looked around. She spotted the berth she'd been lying on before, and decided to hop up on it. It was a bit of a long way, but she was used to it. Once she got there, she craned her neck to see what Ratchet was working on that was so important. "What're you _doing_?"

"Don't concern yourself with my work." He turned around, blocking the table so she couldn't see. Damn, the jerk. "What are you here for?"

"I've been remembering things, Ratchet." She fidgeted and tapped the edge of the berth. "There was a memory, when I was with Sideswipe... and another when I was playing a game with Bee and the twins... just now."

"Oh, you did?" Ratchet nodded, crossing his arms. He was trying to stay gruff, but she could tell that he was pleased. "What about, Blare? Can you describe the one with Sideswipe?"

"I was with Sideswipe... and when we went outside, it just hit me. In the memory, we were talking... and he was upset because there was someone he couldn't find."

"Ah. Do you happen to know, Blare, _who_ he couldn't find? Do you know their name?"

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to concentrate on thinking of the name. _"I find out he's alive... and I can't even do anything." The warm feeling of bright sun on her skin, on her bare arms and shoulders and legs. Sun. The warm rays and streaks of the sun._ She snapped her eyes open, taking a deep breath as she did so. She looked at Ratchet, blinking. "His name... his name has 'sun' in it. I don't know if there's more, but... 'sun'. I know it was... someone very close to him... I-I'm sorry..."

"That's fine, Blare. Whatever you remember, no matter how small, that's wonderful. Don't forget, it _is_ only your first day here. Don't pressure yourself to remember more than you can."

"So I _was_ here before." She pushed some hair from her face. "I did know all of you, didn't I?"

Ratchet's mouth quirked up a bit, and there was a knowing sparkle in his optics. "I can't tell you that, Blare."

She sighed, slumping down. "Yeah. I figured you'd say that. Can you tell me _anything_ I don't already know?"

He chuckled. "Well, I can tell you that you're making good progress, Blare."

She smiled, then there was a flash against her eyes. Not just in front of them, but right up against the optic nerves, pressing on them. It hurt. "Oh God!" She doubled over, covering her eyes. Oh God, it hurt. "R-Ratchet, it's... it's happening again, oh God, oh God..."

"A memory? If it's coming now, just let it take over, don't try to suppress it. I won't be offended. Let yourself get lost in it."

This time she actually got an image. It was blurry, fuzzy, and barely visible, but it was _something_.

* * *

><p><em>She could feel herself crying, and she could see herself. She was slumped against a berth, much lower than the mech on top, bent over. Her knees hugged to her chest, her face buried in her arms. She was crying extremely hard, harder than she was sure she'd ever cried in her life.<em>

"_Blare? Blare, calm down. You can't-"_

"_Don't tell me what the slag I can and can't DO, Ratchet!" She looked up, through her stinging eyes, at the older doctor. "I deserve to be upset! He almost DIED! I couldn't do anything! I just froze up! How am I supposed to be acting, huh? It was MY FAULT!"_

"_It was not completely your fault." Ratchet reached down and carefully tilted her face upward. "Not even one of us could have reached him before the damage had been done."_

"_When is he going to wake up?" She got to her feet, wiping her eyes on her sleeve._

"_Blare, don't worry. He's doing much better than I would have expected. It shouldn't be long before he's up and at it again." He scooped her up and placed her on the edge of the berth. "A little support from his sparkmate couldn't hurt, however."_

_She scoffed, still rubbing at her eyes. "We're __**not**__ sparkmates, Ratchet. We barely know each other."_

_Ratchet chuckled. "Whatever you say, Blare. Still, you can only help him."_

_She knelt down beside the mech's servo, and though she couldn't tell who it was, she took one of his fingers. The pattern on him looked somewhat like Optimus's pattern - but with the blur and the red-and-or-silver colors she thought she could see, it could have also easily been Mudflap or Sideswipe._

"_Please," she murmured, laying her head down next to his servo and sobbing, trying to keep it all together. "Please wake up. You can't stay in stasis forever. I need you to wake up, sweet..." She swallowed before saying it, and she got the sense that Ratchet wasn't going to tell anyone about what she was going to say, but he also wasn't going to ever let her live it down. "Sweetspark... I need you to wake up... can you hear me?"_

_A few seconds later, that one finger she was wrapped around gave a twitch. As if __saying yes, he could hear her._

_She looked up at Ratchet. "That probably doesn't mean he's awake, does it?"_

"_Not yet." The old medic's lips were upward slightly on one side. "But it's good progress. Yes, it won't be long now. Oh, yes, and I'm telling him you called him that, by the way."_

_She giggled through her tears and looked back down at the servo. "As long as he wakes up, I don't care."_

* * *

><p>Blare fell to her side on the berth. She curled up and then suddenly relaxed, taking in breaths so deep that she probably looked like a dying fish flopping around on a deck. "R-Ratchet!"<p>

He was still over her, though she hadn't been able to tell because of the memory assaulting her every sense. "Yes, Blare? I'm here. Is it over?"

She managed to nod weakly. "Y-Yeah..."

"What was it about? You could see things in it?"

She struggled to push herself up a little. "It was... hard to see. Like I was in a cloud of fog and I was watching, but I could... still _feel_ everything that was happening to me, and everything I was doing."

"Did you know what was going on?"

She shook her head, narrowing her eyes. "Ratchet, what... what does 'sweetspark' mean?"

There was a fleeting look of surprise on Ratchet's face, but it was quickly replaced by a look of him knowing something she didn't. "Ah, I see. I think I know what memory you experienced." He leaned back a little. "'Sweetspark' is a term of affection used by Cybertronians. It is akin to your human 'sweetheart'."

"Oh. That, uh... makes sense. Any reason I might be calling any of you that?"

"If they were your sparkmate, yes. That's the Cybertronian standard."

She nodded weakly, lying back down. "Ratchet, could I just lie down in here for a while? I'm dizzy, and my stomach hurts."

"Is it pain or nausea?"

"Both."

Ratchet nodded, patting her head with one finger. "Yes, perhaps you should rest for a bit, if you're not feeling well. Would you like me to inform Optimus and the others where you are?"

"Oh - would you? I don't want anybody to worry about me."

"Very well. As soon as I take your temperature, I shall tell them."

She closed her eyes, trying to relax her body a little from the memory. "Thanks, Ratchet. You're the greatest."

* * *

><p>"Moonfall, you're not restraining him well enough!"<p>

"Well, if you turned the light on and shined it in his face, maybe he'd be scared enough not to squirm like a one-orn-old hatchling!"

"Are you guys a couple? 'Cause you fight like one-"

"SHUT UP, SILVERPITCH!" both of the Decepticons yelled at the rogue, their processors steaming. "IT'S NONE OF YOUR FRAGGING BUSINESS!"

Moonfall slammed the chrome mech's body onto the floor, and Starscream decided to heed her advice by flicking one light on. It shone on Silverpitch like a spotlight, which was exactly what she'd been referring to. (Apparently she'd used his media card to get way too many old human detective movies from that store.)

The femme's lip components quirked up into a devious, obviously sadistic smirk towards the defected Decepticon. "Well well. What do we have here, Screamer? Looks like a traitor to me."

Starscream snorted. "It reeks of one as well. Smells like treachery... and fear."

Moonfall chuckled darkly. "Extra fear. You do know why, don't you? He knows he's come face to face with the two most powerful Decepticons in the universe. Care to demonstrate, Screamer?"

"Of course." He grinned and stuck out one Seeker wing that doubled as a sword, displaying the sharp edge and turning so the light glinted off the metal. "Now, I wouldn't assume you'd like this anywhere in your body for any amount of time."

Silverpitch looked scared shitless, as the human expression went. It didn't even seem like he could activate his vocal processor, as wide as his optics were.

"Good, that's the correct response." Moonfall placed one finger on the edge of Starscream's wing, managing not to cut herself and get Energon all over the place. She glanced in Starscream's optics before looking back at Silverpitch. "So then, you pathetic excuse for a soldier, we have one question for you, if you don't want to get a check-up from Scalpel and his assistant Screamer."

Starscream got closer, extending his wing even more toward Silverpitch's helm, looking to sever the bond between it and the rest of his body. "Where is the girl?" he hissed.

Silverpitch attempted to lean back, but since Moonfall had him in a tight grip, it didn't work out quite as expected. "Wh-What?"

"_Are your audio receptors full of rust!_" Moonfall shrieked. "He asked you a question, glitchhead! Answer it before I tear you to pieces!"

Silverpitch tried to wriggle out of her grasp, but it didn't work. She was holding him too tightly, in a way that he could barely move. "I-I don't know who you're talking about!"

"BLARE!" Starscream was living up to the last part of his name; by now he was getting irritated and upset. "WHERE IS BLARE?"

Silverpitch was quivering by now. He was trying frantically to escape Moonfall's vise grip, but it wasn't working as well as he hoped. "I-I don't even know who that is! I don't know any femmes with that name! I swear to Primus!"

"_She's not a femme!_" Starscream roared, slicing his wing-sword across the former Decepticon's face. He took great delight in the tortured cry that followed his action. "She's a _girl!_ She's a little human girl and she's _this tall!_" He held his servo about 5 feet from the floor of the interrogation chamber. "She's got blonde hair and her eyes are this weird color somewhere in the median of green and brown! She has this annoying vocal expression that grates on your nerves and grows on your spark, and she's slow as slag! And if you don't tell me where she is _right now_, I swear to Primus I'm going to send you to the Pit so fast _your sensors won't have time to process what happened!_"

The room was quiet for a moment, then Moonfall spoke up. "I'd do what he says if I were you, fragger."

When Silverpitch spoke, his vocal expression was full of cracks and static. "I-I don't know who you're talking about. I've never seen the fleshling, and I've never heard of her. I-I swear..."

Starscream snarled, and pushed Moonfall aside, taking hold of the traitor himself. "You listen to me!" He slammed the mech's body against the wall, much like Moonfall had done to him when they'd first met. "You tune your audio receptors in damn well, because we need that girl back. Where. Is. _She_?"

Silverpitch tried to edge away. "I-I told you-"

"And if you say 'I don't know' _one more fragging time_, I'll call Scalpel in and personally help him tear you bolt from bolt!"

"B-But I really _don't_ know-"

Moonfall snorted out a laugh, reached up for the cord. "Allow me, Screamer."

She yanked the cord, and the room went pitch black. All that could be heard after that was the sound of metal scraping against metal, punctuated by terrified wails.

* * *

><p>Megatron had left Silverpitch in the care of Starscream and Moonfall ("care" being a very loose word, obviously) some time ago. He couldn't be bothered to deal with the defect now. He was busy trying to find Blare's heat signature.<p>

He'd finally decided to get off his aft and _do_ something to get her back. She wasn't in the forested area, clearly, so where might she be? In the city, perhaps. So, much as he despised humans, he phased into his holoform and began a search.

He had a picture of her with him, and as he tried to track her signature, he showed the picture to random humans, asking if they'd seen her. So far, all he'd gotten was "no". Nobody had seen anyone who looked like her, and nobody knew her. He probably seemed like some pathetic human looking for his girlfriend or something...

Uh, no. He shook his head, leaning against a building. Blare wasn't his lover, or his sparkmate, or anything of the sort. At the least, she was a pawn... at the most, she was a friend. She was pretty much the only one in his faction that had any common sense, and who didn't make him want to bash his helm against the wall every time he talked to them.

He needed her around; besides himself, she was the only sane person in his current team - including Moonfall. Every time she got Starscream going, he'd get her going right back, and then he had a helm-ache for the rest of the night. There was no way he could deal with those two if Blare wasn't around to act... mentally sound.

He opened his eyes and looked down at the picture in his hand. It was from a time when she, Starscream, and Barricade (in their holoforms) had gone into town together. Apparently it had been quite late, and Barricade was waiting for them to stop fooling around because they'd already been out an hour. The sun had been setting in the distance, and the wind was high; Blare asked Starscream to take a picture of her with her camera, with the sunset as a backdrop.

She was smiling - grinning, more like it. The wind had whipped her blonde hair around her face, causing several flyaway sections across her cheeks and in the air. Her lips had been painted a light rosy shade (he vaguely remembered Barricade complaining about having to stop at that "store that sucked the very male essence out of a mech" where she'd bought the cosmetics) and her eyes weren't pointed at the camera. It looked as if the instant Starscream had taken the picture, Barricade had done something funny and she'd been looking at him.

He put the picture back into the pocket of the jeans he was currently wearing, and sighed heavily. He closed his eyes again, and shook his head. "Blare... I _will_ bring you back to me, no holds barred. And that's to say nothing of what I'm going to do to the rust-bucket who took you away from me..."

* * *

><p><strong>Well, I enjoyed writing more Starscream and Moonfall, teehee. Seems like they hate each other, but when they REALLY wanna slice someone up, they work together wonderfully. They're both insanely scary. Moonfall's MY character, and she scares me. Screamer, on the other servo, well, uh, he scares the scrap out of everybody. But he's hot, you know, so... we'll forgive him. XD<strong>

**Remember, check out the wiki and add to it if you want!**

**Hope you guys liked, and reviews are welcome! Thanks for reading! ^^**


	9. Chapter 8

**Uhmm... I really have nothing to say for myself except that it's been a while and I am deeply sorry. So yeah... please let this chapter make up for it and forgive the authoress? *bats eyelashes***

**Also, couple more theme songs. For Blair/Blare and Megatron, one of my reviewers, King Sabre Tooth *cough whose profile pic hits ALL MY BUTTONS by the way cough* found a song on YouTube that he thought went with them. So like a good author, I investigated the link. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it was on of my favorite songs, but a version I'd never heard. And the best part is...**

**I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF IT. OMG DUDE YOU'RE A GENIUS.**

**Anyway, the song was "For Good" from the musical ****_Wicked,_**** but it was sung by two guys. *faint* Oh God someone catch me, I've fallen and I can't get up from the sexy.**

**Anyway, another song for the whole Optimus/Blair/Megatron triangle (I guess it's become a love triangle now! Or... or a love/friendship triangle? XD no sense) is "Between the Lines" by Sara Bareilles. It fits SO INSANELY well. Some choice lyrics:**

_**'Cause I can't continue pretending to choose/These opposite sides on which we fall/The "loving you later"s, if at all...**_

_**My memory is cruel/The queen of attention to details/Defending intentions if he fails...**_** (That last line really fits for the end of this chapter.)**

_**Until now, he told me her name/It sounded familiar in a way/I could have sworn I'd heard him say it ten thousand times...**_

_**Too late, two choices to stay or to leave/Mine was so easy to uncover/He'd already left with the other...**_

_**I told myself all the words he surely meant to say/Talk until the conversation doesn't stay on/"Wait for me, I'm almost ready"/When he meant "Let go"...**_

**It's such a sad song. In Blare's words, I believe she'd be talking about both of them. The first set of lyrics really does it for me, and the third one I have up there.**

**POP QUIZ. WHOEVER ANSWERS RIGHT - OR EVEN ANSWERS AT ALL - GETS A VIRTUAL ENERGON COOKIE. What does the third set of lyrics listed symbolize for the story? (Actually, I really don't think there are any wrong answers for this one... so let your imagination run away! You all get A pluses!)**

**Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I guess the ending was kind of rushed but... :)**

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><p>Blare let the thermometer slip from her mouth again, and opened her eyes to glance up at the doctor. "<em>Ratcheeeet<em>," she moaned. "How many times have you taken my temperature?"

"Seven," was his answer as he examined the screen from the latest attempt. He was in his holoform, as otherwise the thermometer he had to use on her was too small for him to pick up.

"And it's still normal?"

"98.6, exactly." He tossed the plastic mouth cover into the trash can. "You're predictable."

"Then why do you keep checking? I've only been here-" She glanced at the clock. "- Two hours. You take my temperature every twenty minutes. Is that really necessary?"

"Fevers can take a matter of hours or even days to fully develop," was his smartass reply, probably just to get her to shut up.

She sighed. "Look, I feel a lot better. And besides, I promised Ironhide I would clean his cannons tonight. Have you, uh, _seen_ him? He'll be _pissed off_ if I don't keep my word. I know it."

"Hmmph," Ratchet grunted. "Well, I suppose that would be a _safe_ environment, don't you agree?"

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't know you guys could be sarcastic, you especially. I _want_ to go. He wouldn't hurt me - none of you would, I'm smart enough to know that."

"Well, you're right about that. I suppose the most Ironhide could do would be to fire a blank at long range - that's just air, and if I'm correct you _breathe_ that, don't you?"

She shook her head. "Are you gonna let me go, or am I gonna have to make a run for it?"

"Alright, get going then." He waved a hand at her. "Shoo, shoo, as it were. Have fun with Ironhide and his permanently ready-to-fire cannons. Try to remember things and not get accidentally stepped on."

"Awesome - er, and yeah, sure, I'll try not to." She sat up and carefully hopped off the berth. "Thanks, Ratchet! I'll see you later, okay?"

For once, he actually chuckled a little. "Yes, well... not _too_ soon, hmm? Please give me at least a solar cycle before you get hurt. You can do that, yes?"

"_Yes_," she answered emphatically, not letting him see the fact that she rolled her eyes or he'd never let her leave. "Bye!"

Not giving him a chance to put any more of his two cents in, she made a beeline for the door and stepped out into the hangar. A few vehicles were all lined up - clearly the Autobots in recharge. She went past them, trying to pick out which one was Ironhide, though she already had a pretty good idea. The big Peterbilt semi truck; that was Optimus. The yellow Chevy Camaro with a black stripe; easy, that one was Bumblebee. The green Chevy Beat was Skids, and the red one was Mudflap. The sleek, beautiful silver Corvette Stingray was clearly their resident speed demon, Sideswipe. And then there was that big black pickup, a GMC Topkick, at the end there. She smirked; if Ironhide thought he could hide from her just by transforming into his alt mode, he was sadly mistaken.

"'Hide!" She wasn't sure how, but she knew that was his nickname. She ran over and put a hand on the passenger door. "I'm ready to clean your cannons - well, anyway, I'll _be_ ready as soon as I get some water and a rag. So you be ready too, okay? I'll be back in, like, five minutes. I have to go back into Ratchet's office for that stuff, but I won't be long." She blinked, having expected to get a reaction by now. "Okay, be right back!"

After a quick trip back to Ratchet (who was annoyed that she was back so soon, but just grumbled and complied when he realized what she was there for), Blare came back out into the hangar to see that Ironhide had transformed - crap, and so had the twins. And it looked like Ironhide was ready to beat the scrap out of them; they were _loud_. And way more annoying than she'd been earlier.

"Ironhide!" she called, running over with her bucket of soapy water and rag. "Skids, Mudflap, come on - people are trying to recharge. Stop being so obnoxious and get some rest yourselves, huh?"

The twins proceeded to ignore her, though they did relocate themselves to a different corner where less noise reached the others. "There, Psycho! We ain't gonna shut up though!"

She rolled her eyes, but just came up to Ironhide. "You ready for me to clean your cannons? Looks like they could use a good rubdown."

He nodded, lowering his arm so she could climb on. "Don't fall, now. You humans are notorious for that."

She giggled. "Well, don't scare me or move too fast and I'll be fine," she countered. She looked over at Bumblebee, Sideswipe, and Optimus, not even sure if they were in recharge or just sitting there. "If anyone else wants cleaned too, I'd be happy to do it when I'm done with Ironhide." She nestled herself in a place somewhere in the vicinity of where his elbow would be if he were human, and began her work.

After a moment, she heard the noise and saw Optimus in the corner of her eye; he'd transformed too. "Want me to clean you after 'Hide?" she asked cheerfully, leaning down a bit to reach a farther part of the cannon. When he didn't reply, she thought perhaps he hadn't heard her, so she shouted his name a bit louder. "_Optimus?_"

He seemed to start a little, but he shook his helm. "No... that's alright."

She frowned slightly, and pushed herself back up to work on the next part of the cannon. "Are you okay? You sound tired - you should be recharging. I'm sure I can take care of 'Hide on my own."

"I'm fine. I just... can't seem to enter a recharge mode tonight."

"Got something on your mind?"

"You could say that."

"Oh. Well, sorry about that. Happens to the best of us, I guess... I remember one night when Master couldn't sleep - I woke up the next morning, and he was _still_ walking around the base trying to enter recharge." She giggled before sliding her rag over the black armor once again. "Hey Ironhide, you said you got your scar in a battle, right? Who were you fighting?"

"A Decepticon. Must have been a Seeker - used his wing as a sword and sliced me. I didn't see it coming." He paused, then he must have decided it wouldn't be particularly intrusive to ask his question. "Where did you get yours?"

"My what?"

"That scar on your lip, on the left side. How did that happen?"

She was quiet for a moment, then sighed, stopping her work. "Master..." She felt tears in her eyes at the memory - one of the only times that Megatron had ever laid a claw on her. (Oh _God_, did she miss him...) Before she even told them what had transpired, she had to make sure they understood that it hadn't been on purpose; her master _wasn't_ a bad mech, he just had a temper. "H-He didn't mean it... and I probably deserved it anyhow."

"Didn't mean _what?_" Ironhide growled. "If he's ever laid a fingerplate on you, I swear to Primus I'm going to-"

"Whatever it is," Optimus added, interrupting Ironhide with a low voice, "I am sure you most certainly did _not_ deserve it, Blare."

"Not if it gave you a scar like that," Ironhide muttered, seeming to know he shouldn't say much after he'd just been interrupted.

She took a shuddery breath, then let it out. "I-I mean... it wasn't his fault, not completely. He lost his temper, that's all - everyone does, once in a while."

"What did he _do to you?_" Optimus demanded to know.

She shook her head, wetting her rag. "He was angry. I mean, he's always a little angry, but this time he was _mad._ He'd just lost a battle - to one of you, I guess. I... shouldn't have been pestering him. I was annoying and... and he picked me up." She slopped the rag against Ironhide, and sighed heavily. She hated this memory; no matter how delicate a temper her master had, he _wasn't_ bad. "I knew he wasn't going to hurt me. He didn't even mean to do anything besides scare me straight. But his claw... got my mouth."

She rubbed a little, taking in a breath. "If it makes you think more of him, he did feel awful about it. He made Barricade drive me into town so I could shop, just to make it up to me. He _really_ didn't mean it. Accidents happen."

Ironhide snorted, then growled. "Accident, my sine function. He's a leaking, rusty knock-off."

"He should have been more careful," she heard Optimus rumble. "If it were me, I never would have picked you up without your permission. It's a violation of your rights and is disrespectful."

Blare scowled and flicked her rag at him, splattering soap all over his faceplates. "Look, I'm sick of you talking about my master like that. I _know_ he's your enemy, and I _know_ he's not the best person. But doesn't everybody have _one_ flaw? Nobody's perfect, not even Master. Not even you."

She felt him get closer, and refused to react to the sudden rush of heat beside her. She didn't even turn to look at him as he spoke. "I never claimed to be, Blare." The sound of him transforming again filled her senses, and his engines revved. "But here's a human riddle for you. You show me Megatron, and I'll show you a mech who doesn't care how many humans he harms, with negative ambitions on the processor. Disregard for life, including yours, in favor of power... that is not _flawed._ That's beyond _saving._"

There was a burst of air, and he disappeared.

She felt hot tears sting her eyes, and she pressed her rag against Ironhide's cannon. "Where did he go?"

"Nobody's ever found out where he goes," the warrior vented. "But I'll tell you one thing: you're on your way to setting a record. Less than twenty-four Earth hours, you've pissed him off twice."

"I didn't mean to make him mad," she defended. "But he wasn't seeing my point of view! I... I had to say _something._ I didn't know he would get upset."

"Oh, lighten up, will you, fleshy? He'll be over it by tomorrow, I know him. In the meantime, just don't worry about it. I mean, for spark's sake... upsetting _him_ isn't easy to do. Hold your record with pride."

She closed her eyes and squeezed the rag so tightly soap seeped through her fingers. "That's not something to be proud of." She let her head fall forward onto his armor, and choked out a sob. "I should be ashamed of myself." She couldn't hold back any more tears. "_Should be._"

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><p><strong>Aww, poor Blare! ... On that note, poor OPTIMUS. lol.<strong>

**... I feel we should check on the Decepticons... there's no telling what havoc they're wreaking...**

**Eh. Maybe later.**

**Any suggestions?**

**Thanks for reading! ^^**


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